Great and Unsearchable Things

Things the Lord gives me, and then I write them.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Freedom from Soul-ties-Part I

     Sometimes we don't see how firmly our grip is on something, until the Lord tries to pry it off. When emotional needs are involved, we "hang on for dear life." I'm guess I should say, when we get an emotional pay-off from something, it ties us to that thing or person. This intial "tie," if not loosed, can turn into a stronghold, and then, possibly a compulsion, obsession or even, an addiction. Bad stuff.
     Currently, I am being awakened to a tie that I've had with others, which was bonded with this pay-off. The pay-off was in feeling loved by the attention I was shown. Something was used to secure this bond, though, on my side of it, and so it has not been healthy, for me or them. It is a classic case of "co-dependence," and is one I feel sorry for and about.
     God is urging me now, to address this need I have for attention, to feel loved. I know, in my head, to get all of this from Him, but to know how to do that, I do not. He creates us with needs of love and attention, but whenever we seek it from man, we always come up bankrupt. Even if someone gives it to us, it is not the perfect, unconditional love He offers us, and so it will eventually disappoint. But, I am seeking Him on how to receive this love from Him.
     We watched a movie about John Wesley last night, and there was a part in it in which he was seeking God in this same way. He knew something was lacking, as he had been operating in works, as a means to gain salvation. He saw some other believers who were at peace with God, and wondered how to get that peace. One man told him to just open up his heart to God. I am such a "how-to" person, that I want to know how to do that? I truly don't.
     Where is my heart, and how does it open? Am I keeping that from happening some how?
     I've been accused of being ultra self-examining, and I probably am. On the other hand, "if you seek, you will find." Each must do things in their own manner and way.
     God will help us find our way as He reveals those things in us which are blocking His love from flowing through us. He has shown me presently that to be soul-tied to a human, or to man, is one blockage that can keep Him out. With each confession, comes freedom with removal of that blockage, and then more and more of Him fills that spot. I'm looking forward to it.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Surrendering our Dreams

     My dream life would be to get up everyday, and with my husband's leadership and initiative, seek God together in helping others who are disadvantaged, sharing the truth, love and life of Jesus Christ with them. This purpose of pouring out our lives for those who don't know, and be available to "share Christ" when opportunity presents itself to me would be a meaningful life.
     But, I don't have that life. My husband is a farmer, and I stay at home, keeping things going there. I have a flower garden I maintain, I love to write on my blog, and consider that a way to use my God-given talents, and I decorate pretty little boxes and give them away. Occasionally throughout the year, we have Christians from other countries we open our home to, and provide a refuge of peace to, who we love to serve and visit with. I love all these things we have and do, but ministering to the lost, the outcast and rejected in society is still in my heart, and I want to do that more and more.
     Even though I am not young, I don't, nor will I ever look at my life as over until it is over. I look at my life as progressively becoming what God has intended it to be. I must surrender my dream to Him, too, if I see it's not going that way, which for all practical purposes it is not. I don't see my husband looking into quitting farming to do anything else. I still wonder why then did God put something in me which he did not put in my husband. How can the two visions meld together if we are to be one?
     As often is the case, when I begin to write something, I begin to see the answer, as is happening now. The answer is that God wants me to surrender this dream of mine, even if I think He put it there, and if it's Him, He will resurrect it. If not, it will die. It's a simple as that, but it is not easy to do.
     Lord, I lay this vision down. I give it to You. Revive it or kill it, Lord, but let the restlessness over it end. If it's only my dream, and is not of You, I want it to die. I love you Jesus. Amen.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Obedience=Trusting in Him

    I've noticed lately that obedience to the Lord is being down-played in many teachings out there, in our walk with Him. Hmmmm......let's look at that. If I say I trust Him, but want to do my own thing, do I really trust Him? What am I trusting Him for? To carry out my own will?
     He guides us, many times telling us what to do, as a good Father does, and we disregard or ignore His wise counsel. Instead we do what "we think is best." Have we really "sat at His feet" so to speak, or are we putting ourselves above Him?  Do we worship our own selves, leaning to our own understanding, or do we submit under His wisdom and trust that?
     I think He makes it clear in His Word when He says that He is the potter, and we are the clay. Or, even the fact that He is called Lord, Master, King, Savior, etc. says it all. "Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say?"-Luke 6:46, He asks.
     Love, trust, and obeying cannot be seperated in responding to His precious love to us.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Koinonia-Blessed Fellowship

   "Nothing from nothing, leaves nothing. You gotta have something, if you wanna be with me." In my discontent this morning, these words from a song of the past came to my mind.
     I'm wondering if a believer can be sustained on Christ only? Although sounding heretical, I'm talking about our other human needs being filled that God Himself has put in us. If we try to ignore the fact that we are human beings, and tell ourselves those innate needs are not important (because we have Christ) we put ourselves in a quandry. I'm referring to the need for fellowship with the Body of Christ.
     I am finding I need to be around people more. Since our children are grown and have families of their own, my husband and I are the only ones in the household, and we are not enough for each other. Also, we live in the country, and don't meet regularly with anyone. We do have company come a few times a year, and that is nice, and I do meet with my sister for Bible Study every week. But, overall, there is a deadness and hollow feeling in our lives, like something is lacking.
     Yesterday I met with a married couple at a restaurant whose spirits are very sweet and uplifting! I was blessed by this flow, and it was then I realized my need for more life giving fellowship. Being face to face with people in the Body of Christ who are  edifying, I believe, is what God has in mind for each of us, and it is this that I feel I need now.
     So maybe it's not discontent that I feel, but simply lack, which God is directing me to reach out and receive. Afterall, His Word tells me that when I let the Good Shepherd take care of me, I will not be in lack. (I shall not want)  I am wondering, though, if sometimes He provides these things for us, but then He wants us to seek them out to receive them. In other words, to make a move on our own in obtaining what He's already provided for us, instead of just sitting there and expecting them to come to us.  I believe this is what He is saying to me in this case.
     The picture is of a sheep being provided with some good forage. The Shepherd puts this food in a bin of some sort for His sheep to eat. There is plenty for all. As they see Him doing this, all, except one, begins to come and eat. The one just stands there watching the others, and doesn't take steps to get the food, then wonders why they feel downcast or left out. As the Father tells the elder brother in the prodigal son parable, "all I had was yours already."
     Everything is provided for us, but all we have to do is reach out and receive it. in other words, "go get it." He is telling us all He has is ours. Wow! That tells me that He has already provided for solid, good and uplifting fellowship for me in His Body. I just need to go and get it, being confident that He will be my guide.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Keep Being Healed!

     It took the man 7 times of cleansing to be healed! Of course, the number 7 represents perfection, so whether it is a literal "seven" times or not, (maybe more and maybe less) it shows that healing, many times, is progressive, and not necessarily instant.
     In the Bible Study my sister-in-law and I are doing, it had us focus on the sins of our heart yesterday. By not excusing or justifying them, but by confessing them to God, I believe, our healing (in this case, soul-healing) can happen quicker.
     Currently, (I am talking about within the past few minutes) I have once again been brought face-to-face with one of the things I need healing for, and that is jealousy. I am so thankful that in our study yesterday, I was reminded to bring these things to God and confess them, and, as He promises in His Word, He will cleanse me of all unrighteousness.
     I don't like this jealousy that springs from insecurity, but thank God I know the antidote for it. I know that as I bring it to God, He will forgive me, and cleanse me, but also, I need to press into the love and value He has for me and receive that, too. As insecurity and jealousy leave, something has to fill those places in me.
     These former "dams" in us has prevented His River from flowing in us, and as they are removed, it begins to flow more freely; then it can flow out from us to others.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Daring To Ask

     I just read over the book of James. I haven't read it in a long time, but it is chock full of enlightening verses.
     I was especially intrigued by the verses on asking God for things in Chap. 4. vs. 1-6. It speaks of us wanting things and we don't get them, so we quarrel and fight. And, it tells us that we don't have, because we don't ask God. Then, it adds that if we ask God we must believe that He will give to us, unless we ask just for our own pleasures. Then it goes into (and I think, suggests) that when we ask for things for our own pleasures, that we are friends with the world. He says if this is so, then we are enemies of God! We are considered adulterers, because God desires to have all of us for Himself. He will not share us with another; in this case, the world.
    After reading these verses, I asked God for something that seemed to be hidden from me. I knew that He was the only One who could reveal it to me. In asking I honestly do not know whether it is for my own pleasure or not, but left that to His discretion. I believe this thing I want, was actually put in my mind by Him, and so I feel, perhaps that He wanted me to ask Him to let me "find" it.
     It's not important to relay to you what it is, because me and God know, but I am just sharing with you so that you too may want to understand further about "asking prayer." I know that much has been written or taught on this subject. I also know that there has been much confusion on the subject.
     For example, in the 80's, I received a book entitled, "Writing Your Own Ticket with God." Being a young Christian, I was trying to sort out everything that was being taught from various sources. This book and others that people suggested or gave me, were from the Faith Movement out of Oklahoma. Looking back, I can see that the emphasis of these teachings, for lack of better terms, were "me", not Christ-centered, and appealed to the lusts of man. What became "the Prosperity Gospel" has been crafted very firmly from these concepts, and is almost considered "truth" in many circles today.
     So, because of this exposure, I remained very confused for many years, and still am somewhat hesitant to ask God for anything that I may want, because I don't want to ask for my own pleasures, as He states in His word. I want to ask according to His Will.
     After reading the passage, that I don't have, because I don't ask God, I decided to do it and see what happens. If I don't receive, should I conclude that I am asking with the wrong motives, as the Word says? (James 4:3) I think so.
     I will let you know what happens. I am expecting God to answer, if I have asked according to His Will.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Help Us To Forgive

     The importance of forgiveness is vital to one's spiritual growth and even in keeping a good relationship with the Lord. If someone lets hurts and wounds of the past build up and not forgive those who have hurt them, it will turn into hate. Hate is the cancer of the soul, and will take someone over completely, turning them into someone they thought they would never be. Or it's possible that they won't even see themselves anymore, as I believe, sin blinds us. But others, from the outside looking in, will see what they've become.
     Digging deeper, the essence of why someone doesn't forgive may be that they haven't seen their own sins as "bad" as someone else's, although they are. I think it may be the results of sin which are so bad, and not the particular sin itself. Let me explain using an everyday sin we all commit; the sin of indifference, or witholding love.
     Scenario: A husband reaches out to his wife in the morning with a smile on his face, and a hug. She accepts his embrace, but witholds her own reciprocal embrace because she wants to get her coffee. She is witholding her love from him, and is instead preferring her own wants and needs first. What does this communicate to her husband? "I am more important than you; than your love. You have gotten in the way of my agenda, and I don't like it." Perhaps even, "you are a bother to me. I have more important things to do." She has hurt him on a level she doesn't even realize, and has created distance between them. I firmly believe that there is non-verbal communication that happens between people, which can bring destruction in relationships, even unknowingly.
     When an anatomy of a sin is done, it seems extreme, even wrong. I mean, if we are to see sin as it is under the surface, we can realize the damage we do daily to one another, violating the "law of love." Truly, though, as David said, "it is against You, O God, that I have sinned." When we sin against another and hurt them, we are really sinning against God, and hurting Him.
     So, what are we to do? Thank goodness that we can ask for forgiveness from Him, and be assured that He will give it to us, appropriating the blood of Jesus' on our behalf which has been shed.
     But, the subject is forgiving others. It goes hand in hand with realizing our own sin (even in the minutest detail, showing the destruction it causes) which God has forgiven us of, and then passing that same forgiveness on unto them.
     Alot of our unforgiveness is due to what we think someone has done to us, and not in what they have actually done. We have thought we deserved better treatment, didn't get it, were mad or hurt, and held it against them. All the while, they remain ignorant to what they did wrong and yet they know there is a distance between them and us.
     The importance of telling someone how they have hurt us, thereby giving them an opportunity to either explain their actions or ask for forgiveness, is paramount in keeping an avenue of understanding between two people. Most of the time, we suppress our feelings, in fear of what they may say or do, and resent them anyway, holding unforgiveness against them. Not a good way to deal with things. So, we think someone needs to ask our forgiveness, while it is us who needs for God to forgive us for holding them in unforgiveness for alleged offenses we haven't even given them a chance to know about. How unfair is that? Oh, the tangled webs we weave.
     So, it is important to communicate with loved ones in what is going on in our hearts, to check and see if what has been said or done, is a true perception. It is also important to forgive them when they ask for our forgiveness, and to ask others' forgiveness when we have done wrong.  The Scripture still lingers: "If you don't forgive others of their sins, neither will I forgive yours." It is that serious to God. Is it really worth it to us to hold others in judgement, risking that God will hold us in His judgement? The results are staggering, and may be even eternal.


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Seducing Spirit empowers Doctrines of Demons

     The following post really needs to be read first as this is a continuation of that one. In it, was mentioned about the perilous times we are in; times when if  the days were not shortened, as God says, even the elect would be deceived.  But, thank goodness, they will be shortened.
    I think what is read between the lines, though, is how strong the delusions of the end times will be, and that they will become stronger. God says something curious about people being deluded in His Word. He says those who don't love the truth, will be turned over to believe lies. Now how scary is that?  I believe this time is upon us.
     Yesterday I shared one of the demonic doctrines of our day that satan is using to delude people, and they are believing it. It is the new "grace" doctrine perpetuated by Joseph Prince of Singapore. It's not that grace is not true; it's just that this grace he speaks of is not God's kind. (the counterfeit of the true)  Satan craftily uses the word "grace" because it's a sweet sounding, spiritual word,  and then attaches alot of error and heresy to it. It's drawing thousands to it's throne. I believe Joseph Prince is under it's power; whether willingly or innocently, only God knows.
     The second doctrine of demons which is gaining souls today is one called "universalism." This belief is that everyone is going to heaven. It has many different branches of belief. Today it is subtlely inserted in other kinds of teaching, again using Scripture as back up. I won't go into the details of this to try and convince you, but I am saying this by discernment and by the knowledge of the truth, and to give you a heads up as you see this happening, and to beware of it's strong seductive power to deceive. Again, it has a seducing spirit attached to it. This is the most dangerous part of any demonic doctrine. If someone tries to debate the teaching, satan is right there defending it, and he will overpower you.
     A friend of mine described the power of the seducing spirit like this: she was watching a TV show on Atheism, Agnoticism and Universalism. She said that she was so intrigued by it that she told herself she would just watch and see what they had to say. She really knew the teaching was false and deceptive, but she watched anyway, as if she couldn't stop. Her allurement was disrupted by what had to be the Spirit of God telling her "to get out now." So, she did. She "ran to the hills" if you will. Reflecting back, she said her heart was beating so fast when she was watching, and when she turned it off, she felt like she had been rescued. This is the seducing spirit. It is the one that lures addiction, whether physical or spiritual.
     One of the things I have noticed in how these doctrines are being taught is none other than "the bait and switch" method, which is obviously a method satan uses to entrap. He lures the subject with sweet sounding words and promises of freedom. If anyone tries to question these beliefs, he then turns it around, using methods to try and make them think that if they don't believe it, then there is something wrong with them.
     For instance in the "grace" doctrine, if you question the errors in this belief system, you are told that it is your "self-righteousness" showing, and because of this you can't receive God's grace. In the universalism teaching, if you doubt these beliefs, it means something is wrong with your heart because you can't believe God is that good, and there is even a suggestion that you may even want some people to go to hell. If satan can make you doubt your own questions by "accusing you" (which he always does) than maybe he can manipulate you to see it his way. If you do, than you can prove you are not self-righteous, and your heart is truly good. Oh, how deceitful are his ways!!!
     I have never "dared" to expose these doctrines like this, as I knew when I did, satan's demons through people, would rail and rage. But, the whirlpool of souls that are being led astray through these false teachings is getting larger and larger as time goes on, and it is possible that the unsuspecting and naive have been truly deceived, and can get out before being taken further and further into it. I felt an obligation to the Body of Christ, if only through this blog, to tell, from discernment, what I see.
     All it takes is for someone to ask God to help them see if what they are believing is true, and to be delivered from the spirit that has held them in captivity in their mind. I know He is faithful to reveal truth to them, if they truly want to see, and He is faithful to rescue. He will go get the one sheep who has wandered, if their heart is sincerely His, and if they love the truth.

"And deliver us from evil."

Monday, April 22, 2013

False "Truth"

     Are you aware that there are many false and dangerous doctrines "out there" gaining converts daily? God's Word says that in the last days there will be "doctrines of demons." If we think of a demon with our carnal, unrenewed minds (which has no spiritual discernment in it) we think of blantant evil, which is obvious to all. But, if we think of satan, as the Word of God describes him, we see that he is "an angel of light," and it says, so are his messengers.
      In other words, on the outside all looks good, even looks right, but on the inside, and in this case, the content of the message is, if I can be so expressive, laced with arsenic! Yes, it is that convincing and alluring, even to the point where it can make you doubt your own fundamental beliefs. How can a false teaching have so much power? Well, it's from satan, first of all, and it has a seducing spirit on it. I'm talking about a real, demonic spirit here. Yes, it's that serious and worth being aware of.
     Let me even go so far as to say, that it can even be dangerous "checking out" the doctrines with the Word of God. Why? Because what is being taught "seems right" even with the Word documentation these false teachers give, and when someone looks up the passages to try and prove wrong the teachings, the seductive spirit goes to work on the mind. The Scripture "what seems right to a man leads to death" comes to mind here.  God is trying to warn us.
     The 2 doctrines I am talking about are:
      1) The Grace doctrine taught by Joseph Prince. Many things he says are right as far as "no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," but attaching the prosperity gospel to it as a sign of being under grace, is the flesh attraction for many to want to believe this, "hook, line and sinker." And the power this doctrine has on it's followers is very strong, fighting for and defending it if questioned by anyone who wants to show other Scripture to the contrary. And, if you are one of the questioners, it is because, Joseph Prince teaches, you are "self-righteous" and just can't receive God's grace, and so in your "self-righteousness" you get angry. Whenever someone trys to cover all the bases to explain other people's reactions to "an iron-clad" doctrine, this should raise suspicion to what power this comes from. I mean if something is true, truth can speak for itself. I must admit I did get angry  when I heard this doctrine; because I saw it for what it was, and I knew that satan had unleashed a doctrine using a perverted grace to do it. I was appalled at his subtle and slimy ways, and at the same time, I knew it would lure many, causing them to go astray. Someone had given us his book, "Destined to Reign" and it was on our end table in the living room. I picked it up to flip through it, and I heard the Lord tell me, "Don't even read it. It is poison." It is so powerful in the way it weaves Scripture, that to even read it to try and find error in it, is to be subject to it's power. I have even hesitated to even mention it here, because satan uses "curiosity" to lure also, but I am taking the chance that you will believe me and leave it alone, and because I feel I have a responsibility to the Body of Christ to warn them, and share what I know by discernment.

I will go into the other doctrine on tomorrow's post, as this is getting long. The times are perilous in the spiritual realm, as the end gets closer. Satan has woven together the Word of God in a most devious and trapping way for those who know the Word even, and his demons have given these doctrines power to infect the mind,blinding people to the truth, even when they think they have found it. Especially when they think they have found a "new truth" by "revelation."  Remember he even tried to use the Word with Jesus Christ Himself when he tempted him? It is a wise thing to be aware of satan's schemes and devices, and to accept the gift of discernment in the Body of Christ, as God has given it for it's protection.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Giving Him our Trust

     As a carry over from yesterday's post, I wanted to just list God's promises that I can think of off the top of my head:
 1) He will never leave us or forsake us.
 2) Psalm 23
     a) We won't have any wants. He will fill all things in us; bring us satisfaction.
     b) He gives us rest and peace. (green pastures, still waters)
     c) He will lead us in His ways. (paths of righteousness)
     d) Mercy and goodness is ours.
     e) We won't fear because He is with us.
     f) We will live in His house forever! (and with Him!)
3) Psalm 91
    a) He will protect us.
4) He will come back and get us one day.
5) He will always have mercy towards us.
6) His love for us will never fail; he will never stop loving us no matter what.
7) He accepts us; he is for us.
8) He loves our soul.
9) He delights in us, and sings over us.
10) He has protected us from His own wrath by taking it on Himself through His Son. We am safe.
11) He will keep us from falling, or from getting off track, or from being deceived as we trust in Him.

     Looking at these promises alone is enough to marvel at and is all we need to journey through this present world. Actually just knowing who He is and that He is with us, and trusting Him is enough; if only we really did.
     So, why don't we? Fear, doubt and unbelief are the issues most of the time. Our own minds, coupled with satan's encouragement which can invade us through others comments of fear, doubt or unbelief affects us. We allow it to sometimes, albeit unknowingly.
     "Little foxes spoil the whole vine," His Word says. When we let in other's remarks or even listen to our own doubtful thoughts, our vine of faith and trust in Him is diminished little by little.
      Oh, to have the faith of a child and to believe Him just because He is our Daddy and He said it. I long to go back to that innocence of belief and wonder as we look at Him.
     I believe He is taking us back to that place; that He is restoring all things in us and in the world. Even as our bodies are breaking down day by day, our spirits are  being renewed! We can use the fact of our bodies lessening as a sign to remind us of the renewing of our spirits, happening simultaneously. His work is progressive, while everything which is flesh or man-made, is in a state of decomposition.
     With that reality, we can be assured that we are becoming child-like again, while He works in us to make that happen, as we trust Him for it, and that our faith is being strengthened and perfected day by day. And, that He will finish what He started in us!
     So, what do we do? Nothing? The answer that I believe God is truly trying to give to us is simply:

Trust Me, and Enjoy the Ride!!!! 
Stand back and Watch the Glory of God!!!


Saturday, April 20, 2013

No "Buts" About It

     Accepting God's promises "hands down" or "as is" is to truly believe them-right? I know that many times, I have added a "yea, but....." whenever I have considered them. That "yea, but......" can be the source of doubt, and I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't have it's origin in satan himself, appealing to the carnal mind, which is ruled by man's reasoning apart from God. No wonder the Word says that it is evil, devilish and sensual.
     We must fight this within ourselves. If we don't, what God has said He will do, will be watered down to only possiblities, or even chance happenings, or "well, I hope so's" which of course, waters Him down in our hearts, possibly ending up in destroying our faith all together.
     This force, our self will, desires to rule us, and thinks it can manage our life on it's own. With pride in check, it makes plans, executes them with  precision, and attempts to go it's own way. It's reasoning says, "I'm an intelligent person" and holds God's offer to lead us in contempt. It resists submission to His will, and denies itself His promises. If it were to accept them, it would have to admit that it needs help, and would have to divert it's trust from itself to Him. It' s pride would not permit such. It's core is independence; something satan is well able to work with unhindered.
     I am transitioning from a "yea, but" to an "amen" currently involving the promise of God conform me to His image, making my heart and mind as His. This is His will. I can rest in this. For so long, I had said, "yea, but we have to do our part," and had made it my business to find out what that part was. I have even posted on it.
     While I still agree that my part is to abide in Him, it's not really something I do, but something, or should I say Someone I rest and trust in. Isn't that what it means to abide? In other words, I can rest and trust in the fact that God will do the work in me, because He said He would, and He is trustworthy. I'm afraid me trying to "help Him" has greatly hampered the process. It may have even stopped it, because God may have stepped aside whenever I felt "I had it covered."
     It's such a relief to just trust God to do what He says He will do. I don't think new converts in other countries have as much trouble believing God's word as we do. I think they read what He says, and believe it. They aren't pulled by independent minds, nor do they have available all the commentaries, sermons and teachings about "what the Scriptures really say." I believe we put "man's intelligience" on a pedestal, even making it an idol in our society. In essence, we are really exalting man over God! We sanitize God's raw promises, in an attempt to make them more sophisticated.
     I heard someone from Vietnam speak once, and they said that in America we have educated demons, which appeal to our carnal minds. These are the forces we must fight against. We wrestle not with flesh and blood. Satan would use intellectual and prideful demons to reduce the power and promises of God to nothing, if we let him.
    So, if in your mind, you hear a "yea, but.........." when trying to trust in one of His promises, beware. It probably is that same serpent, who said long ago to Eve, "Did God really say?" Be prepared to fight back and say boldly, if only in your mind, "Yes, God did really say, and I believe Him fully. He does not lie, and He is faithful. "Amen.

Friday, April 19, 2013

I Can't Heal Me! Only He Can!

     A charge has been brought to my account: I am narcissistic. It took my breathe away when this person said it to me, and brought tears to my eyes. I have thought I was alot of things, but never this! Because of my insecurities over the years, which God has been so faithful to heal me progressively of, I have looked at myself negatively, and never thought this term, which means basically self-centered and self-absorbing was me, especially since it indicates an over-inflated ego, whereas insecurity means you don't think much of yourself. It just didn't seem like both could be present in one person.  But now, that the charge has been made, I must consider it before God.
     It makes sense that it "might" be true, because of the fact that I am so affected by other people I think of in this way. When I am around these people, my own value seems to be ignored or diminished. Is that enough evidence to indict me?
     In my own defense, I see myself as a good listening, letting the other person talk about themselves or what they have been doing, ever aware that each person in a relationship must have a turn to bring balance to it, and to insure some degree of longevity to it. I believe they call that "social skills."
     On the other hand, does the fact that I am even wanting to know if I am this way or not indicate "narcissism" in and of itself? I remember a few posts back, God showed me to "letting ourselves die" meaning to not even think about ourselves at all, either negatively or postively, but to focus on Him alone, and His promises to us.
     So, let's assume I am narcissistic. What are God's promises to me? That He is conforming me into His image, and He will complete what He started in me. That He is the author and finisher of my faith, and that His work includes changing my will and my behavior to make it in line with His good pleasure. Can we just stop there and rest or is there something He wants us to do in all of this? Is it necessary for us to see ourselves in the flesh (like being narcissistic, let's say) so that we can ask Him to kill that in us, or, as some have said, just look at Him and then we will be changed automatically. (from glory to glory)
      I had someone who has worked with woman wanting to change, relay to me that they had never seen anyone do so by looking at the process, but only by looking at His promises. It's something worthy to consider. I think this is called being God conscious, instead of sin-conscious.
     I have many questions concerning the work He does in us. I know He has done alot so far in me, as I am not as controlled by things like I used to be. I see great progress in what He has done in me, but I must say, it has not been easy. "The flesh dies hard."
     The strange thing that can happen when someone tells a person they are this way or that is that they become already more self-conscious than they already are. Then, it seems, their self-focus is even more acute, and perhaps even more narcissistic. What a maze one can get in.
     It's the Holy Spirit of God that will lead me in my response to this indictment. I don't want to defend, excuse or explain away these tendencies that I may have, nor do I want to magnify the indictment against myself, as to bring shame and self-hatred. Oh, my Lord, lead me in the paths of righteousness for Your Name's Sake in all of this. He promises me He will, and I am beginning to understand the meaning of this more and more.
     I will be more sensitive to others as I relate to them, and ask God's Holy Spirit power to let His fruit of self-control dominate, at those times that I am being self-centered and focused. I will trust what He has promised to me as He works on the inside of me, and rest there, believing that what He tells me is true, because He is trustworthy and faithful.
    I think this indictment made by a person I truly love and want total restoration with, is being used by God for my benefit. It has helped me snap out of looking at my flaws and bent ways so intently, and is being used to "turn my eyes upon Jesus" and His promises to me.
     Wow-Our God is an awesome God! It has made me realize even more fully that in myself dwells no good thing, and I can't heal myself, even if I know all that is wrong with me, and that I need to change. God alone is the Healer, and I must trust in Him only to do His work.  

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Dissociation-A gift from God?

     I have an incredible ability to "dissociate" myself from reality. I don't know if this is good or not. It does serve as a protection against the pain and hurt that comes from looking at something head-on, such as the Boston bombing yesterday. As you've probably noticed, my mind can go down avenues in ways many other people don't or won't. I know that about myself, so when something is too intense for me to cope with because of something that happens, and what I know my mind will do with it, and how that will affect me emotionally, I "dissociate" or distance myself from it to a degree, but at the same time, I am aware, and not delusional.
     "Earth to Patti," my sister used to say whenever I went to that removed place in my mind growing up. One down side to this coping mechanism is that I don't remember certain things that happened in detail. Again, this might be good. Many years ago, something terrifying happened to me, and it was then I realized that "not knowing" things can be a good thing, when "knowing them" would have caused more pain and fear. So, maybe God gives us this ability for those who would go over the edge otherwise.  
      Of course, it's my own emotions that I struggle with, recognizing that there are 2 natures within me, and I do not want the flesh to dominate the Spirit in me. In reference to the horrible bombing yesterday, coupled with all the repeated shootings these past few years, and the international threats coming at us, our self-protective flesh is very tempted to kick into action. I heard someone say one time, and I believe it's true, that our self-protection is the last thing to go in becoming One with Jesus.
     To be able to let Him defend you in all things, is to let ourselves completely die, and His Spirit dominate in us. I do not want my heart to "grow cold," as "lawlessness increases" in these last days. That is part of the reason I don't expose myself in great detail to all the evil that is happening on this earth now. It stirs up the nature that I am trying to let die. Cultivating His Spirit in me, and living in the realm of the Spirit is the direction I am wanting to go to combat that, to experience His heart and mind through it all. And, I believe this "blocking" ability helps me in that too.
     "Do what ever it takes" to avoid anything which triggers our fleshly emotions and control from taking over in a situation, especially in things which a person struggles with, such as fear in my case. I have found in my life, that when I am fearful, than I try and take control of the situation in a hurtful manner to others; something I want to avoid.
     So, what psychologists may call unhealthy, may be God's protective gift to us in many situations. It may be something He's put in us to "keep" us in His hand, and to "keep" us from falling from Him. Our ways are not His ways.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Our Part is "To Abide"

   Before reading this post, you may want to read the post on March 11, 2013 entitled, "Our Part-'To Let'" What I wrote about a month ago, shows that I was operating in more self-will than I am now. The post is basically a similar subject as this one, but the conclusion is slightly different, showing the work God has done. I believe "abiding in Him" is more in line with truth, than what I said in the other post. I stated there that we are to just "let" Him flow through us, and this one is similar but goes one step further, which is the root of us "letting" and that is of us "abiding."

     The Word tells us to "prefer others better than ourselves." Whoa, that smacks in the face of our pride and self-will, doesn't it? Looking at what this means, further, is really what love is, though.
     Love, always considers the other person. Being raised in this "me" and "my rights" society gives fuel to the resistance to consider others in this way,  which is already in us in our sin nature.
      His love certainly "preferred others" to the max when He gave up His life for us. Are we to do the same for others as we follow in His way, or did He die for us so that we could receive all He has for us only?
     So, do we "just do it" and is that how our flesh is crucified, and then overtime, we are changed? A kind of "fake it til you make it" exercise?  If we do prefer others frequently due to the training in our upbringing, then many times we are just ""dressing up our flesh" and are quite proud our ourselves, which of course is false humility; another form of insideous pride, and seeking for recognition. If we depend  on our will power, it will come to an end eventually.
     There was a time that I befriended someone in my life, who had such aberrant behaviors that drove most people from her. I thought I could love her like Jesus with His long-suffering and cause her to change. Well, after about 15 years, I admitted defeat. Looking back, I see that "I" wanted to look good, and be better than others had been. Sad, but true. Again, it was pride.
     Our love is putrid; our love is self-seeking; our love is manipulating and our love is self-motivated, whether we realize it or not. Only as we let His Spirit operate through us can true love flow, because it is His Love in us, and He only gets any glory from that. And, how do we "let" that happen? By continuing to "abide in Him." Out of being attached to the vine, our branch will bear fruit, which in it's very nature will "prefer others," that He may be seen.


Saturday, April 13, 2013

Faith-The Great Equalizer

     I ran across some Scriptures in Romans yesterday, and as I read, a lightbulb began turning on inside of me. I'll try to write it in words, which is going to be hard, as it was an understanding which was being made alive in my spirit. Here goes:
     Paul was trying to explain about how to receive salvation which is from Jesus Christ. Obviously there was a rucus about the "uncircumcized" (the Gentiles) being able to receive this gift since Paul's commission was to let them know that they now could. Before it had only been offered to the circumsized, or the Jews, and with this new revelation, these "Christian Jews" were arguing with him about it. They were insisting that they were the chosen people, and that even if the Gentiles could now enter in, they would have to be circumsized. Obviously, they were putting their proof on a "sign" or in what they did (got circumsized) and not on the finished work of God by sacrificing Jesus on our behalf.
     In the passages that I read,  he is trying to show "both sides" that entering into salvation is by "faith" in Jesus Christ anyway, and not by obeying the law. In this way, he makes the two (Jew and Gentile) "one" or equal, as the same thing is required of both. If,  Paul says, the law was the way, (as it was first established to show man couldn't do it on his own)  one could say that one was better than the other, if someone "did more of the law." (Even though this would fall short, as God says that if we falter in one thing, we break the whole law.)
     What I began to see was the amazing factor of "faith" that God requires for us to receive salvation. It was the one thing, which is the "great equalizer," between all people. It puts all of us on equal footing before Him, for we can be assured that by Him making faith in Him a requirement for all to enter in, not one person is "chosen" based on being better by their own "goodness," nor none denied because of their "badness." Faith in Him and what He has done, which is the focus, has nothing to do with us, except as far as laying our own "goodness" or "badness" down, which we think we did or are, and accepting what He has done on our behalf.
     Seeing this, will help me not measure myself, even after I've received Him, and turn my eyes more upon Him. It will help settle once and for all that I am not measured by Him according to what I have/have not done. It will help me know that as I have gone through the door by faith in Him, that I am accepted-period.
     Getting that conditional love and acceptance out of our system, which we have been programmed by in the world, sometimes, takes many washings, as does seeing others who we think are better than us, and than transferring those thoughts to God towards us. Now, I am seeing more clearly that He doesn't measure us in that way, but He receives all by their faith in Him only.
I want to end with a quote I received in an email yesterday which I think aptly applies to what I've written:

"The victorious Christian neither exalts nor downgrades himself. His
interests have shifted from self to Christ. What he is or is not no
longer concerns him. He believes that he has been crucified with
Christ and he is not willing either to praise or deprecate such a
- A.W. Tozer


When one gets to this place, it seems like we will be free from ourself, and at the same time free to be who we truly are.

Friday, April 12, 2013

His Strength is Made Perfect

     You know, the other night, whenever there was a prediction of storms with possible chance of tornadoes, I became afraid. That is not the first time. For some reason, over the years, storms have frightened me. Of course, I have had fears of one kind or another for many years, and I HATE IT!
     Counseling from others of "don't worry, be happy" or "God is in control," or even (what feels like) the shame-based strategy to help(?) of "fear is the opposite of faith," has not worked one bit in overcoming these awful feelings that take me over at times. I've even felt guilty because I am a Christian in even having them, which, of course, adds even more damaging emotions to the mix on the inside of me.
    It is amazing to me that some people truly have not experienced the feeling of fear; they don't even know what I am talking about. I can't relate. I know others get frustrated with me whenever I mention my fears, (which I hardly ever do because of this) and this too, makes me feel bad. It seems like everywhere I turn, I run into a brick wall.
    I have searched high and low to find out the reasons I might have developed this fearful mindset. I came up with a few possibilities, but can not prove any of them. I've asked God to remove them, and still I suffer with them. I must say He has lessened them overtime, and I'm thankful for that.
    Yesterday, as I drove to town, and was listening to christian radio, the DJ read the famous Scripture: "In my weakness, His strength is made perfect. My grace is sufficient for you." Was wondering as I heard that, if God was telling me that my fears (or weakness) are the way His strength is made perfect in me, and that it is because of those fears, that I rely on His grace. Maybe, I thought, I am just wanting to not have any weaknesses, so that I can rely on myself more, and not have to deal with these troubling emotions. Maybe He is telling me, and others who have weaknesses, or thorns in the flesh, that they can't seem to overcome, that He won't take them away, as He told Paul. Instead, He wants us to rely on His Grace for our imperfect lives, and let His strength be shown to us instead, so we will continue to realize our need of Him.

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Correction on Former Prophetic Date

     Please refer to an updated version of my post on March 30, 2013 entitled, "The Time Clock is Ticking." In it I shared a prophecy, if correct, will happen before April 11, in 2 days time. In the first copy, I was told it would be played out before April 20., which is wrong. So, if you read it the first time, that date has been corrected, and if you haven't, I think it would be prudent to do so. I am not staunch about believing this prophecy, but just taking a wait and see position. I think it could be entirely possible though, and if not now, I believe, that life as we know it in America, is going to be drastically changed in the future. I am wanting to share this with you, just in case.

Monday, April 08, 2013

He Really Does Answer

     Yesterday I posted about my husband and I waiting on the Lord for direction in a stormy situation we've been in for the past month. After I posted, it came about that He did guide us concerning  part of what we were to do. It was in a way that I had not anticipated, but it was an ingeneous plan.
     This is one of the first times that I have truly waited on the Lord. I was so tempted to figure things out in my own way, according to my will, but this time was able, by His grace work in me, to let Him take control and to wait for His wisdom to present itself. He also gave me the faith to know it would.
     I didn't really expect Him to just reveal a part of His plan. I thought He would lay all of it out at once. That is the exciting thing about God-you never really know when or what He will do next. It becomes an adventure.
     In this part He revealed, both my husband and I agreed, which, I believe, is another indication that it was God. And we both had peace with it.
     I have learned so much in this heart wrenching experience. I've learned when we wait on God's will and answer, and open ourselves up to whatever that answer may be, blessings flow. They flow to you, and they flow to others involved in the situation. I've learned that I don't know what to do, and need God to show me. If I try to "manage my life" by myself, it may feel like I am managing it, but the results will always create more problems and suffering in me and behind the scenes, even if I don't fully realize it. I've learned that when I wait for God, I feel closer to Him because I allow Him to be the Head of me, and His Life flows down to me. If I try and supplant Him by putting myself above Him, I take myself out of the position of receiver, and don't experience Him at all. I feel dry and lonely then. I've learned to trust Him even more, as He's shown Himself so awesome in revealing His amazing wisdom and ability when we had no idea what to do, or how to make sense of things in this situation. Now I am looking forward in continuing to give it all to Him as things happen in my life.  Dependence on God feels so good and right, because it is.
     When my faith is tried, it works patience in me, God says in His word. I needed patience worked in me, and I continue to need it. This experience has worked in me a little more than I had before, and I thank God for it.
      There is something in our flesh that wants what it wants, and it wants it now. This creates a lot of anxiety in us, whereas giving it to God in trust, brings peace. All is safe when our lives are truly put in the Hands of our All-knowing, All-wise and All-loving God!!!

Sunday, April 07, 2013

And He Shall Reign Forever and Ever!!!

     My husband and I are still waiting on the Lord's direction for us in a situation, and have been for about one month now. At first it was hard because my flesh, who is used to being in control, wanted a quick resolution, which truly showed lack of patience yet developed in me. Now, though, I am excited about waiting because with the waiting I am trusting in His timing, and I know that He will let us know when it is right according to His great wisdom. It is actually a relief not to know what to do after giving it to Him.
    This is a situation of great proportions, atleast to us. It is one which we have invested alot of love, time and money. It's the love investment that is affecting me most because it includes people we have known and trusted for several years now, and it could be possible that the Lord's direction could tell us to distance ourselves from them.
     When we truly put something before the Lord, or you could say when you give it to Him (remove it from your own control) you are saying that you trust Him and that you will do whatever He directs  you to do, apart from your own wants, needs, or ideas. In fact, He could give you direction which even assaults your heart.
     To take an extreme example of unmitigated trust, look at Abraham's faith which was tested even to the point of being willing to use his own son as a sacrifice, because God commanded it. So, it seems like God doesn't take lightly when we say we are trusting Him, and will do what He asks of us. He may take the thing, person or situation we treasure most, and ask us to put that  on the altar.
     There are several people involved in our situation who I love very much. They have treated me kindly and with extreme respect and humility. God has used them in my life to show me His submissive spirit, which I haven't seen much of in my life. I like that modeled before me, and frankly to me, as it helps me "see" what the Spirit of God in someone looks like, and I believe, has helped me grow in that direction.  And, I must confess, them treating me like this has helped me feel loved and has filled some of my emotional needs.
     And God could have me give that up.  As I type this, I am seeing that what I might define as God being slow may be that I need some more work done in me to be at a point inside where I am able to freely do that; to give up what I could be attached to which may be interfering with my devotion to Him. Hmmm................
     On the other hand, He could just be rearranging things, so that these relationships are brought back into proper balance, if I am putting too much into them. And of course, He could do a totally new thing that I haven't even thought of. But, I can be assured that when we do hear from Him, and do what He says, it will be GOOD, as His judgements are good, and just and true!!! He is the Almighty God. He is King! To serve Him by trusting Him in all that we do, it is our greatest joy because when His will is done, it brings Him glory on this earth, and the whole company of heaven, that looks on,  says,

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Thy Word is Truth!!!

     I thank God that I know His Word. Many years ago, He led me to a Bible Study which opened me up to it. Then, I was off and running on my own, reading and meditating on His truths. I continued on in other Bible Studies, and personal reading as I journeyed with Him.
     I remember God talking about a time where there would be a famine of the Word of God. At first I thought that meant that Bibles would be non-existent in America one day, but now I am thinking He meant that because His Word is being doubted, watered down and misinterpreted by the flesh of man, that this famine has been "self-induced." The fearful part is that people in America are so hungry for His Word, yet don't know it. So many have been duped by the money hungry and preachers of ease and comfort, that they have quit searching for truth themselves in His Word.
     I love His Word, because I love and trust the God who spoke it!!! When I am confused and don't know what to do, I often find understanding by the unalterable truths in it. There are so many different doctrines out there, which are usually backed up by some pieces of Scripture, but often with a hook of error beneath the surface.
      If we don't know His Word ourselves, we will be led astray often not even knowing we have been, which God calls being deceived. If we don't love the truth, which is Christ and His Kingdom values and principles, which are written in His Word, He says we will be turned over to delusion. If someone doesn't have the fear of the Lord, they will not see the perilous danger they put themselves in by being willing to negate, waterdown,or treat His Word with contempt.
     I woke up this morning with an increased desire to eat of His Word more. Holding His truths in our hearts brings protection from the messages "out there in American Christian land" that sound so good, but that can cause our faith to be shipwrecked and not even know it. Again, deception is rampant.
     "Let God be true and everyman a liar," His Word says. I have come to the point where what man says, even if he espouses to be a preacher of teacher of the Word, I will not accept as truth. When it comes down to it, it is just you and God, with His Holy Spirit of truth, leading you into all truth. God's Word is truth. Don't push it aside for some easy-going doctrine that your flesh likes.
     Satan tried to appeal to Jesus in this way in the wilderness, and he continues to tempt us, God's children today to do the same.

Friday, April 05, 2013

The More I Seek You; the More I Find You

     I can't tell most people what the Lord has shown me; only my husband and you-the ones who read my blog. Since I don't know you and can't see your faces, I write and post and trust God with how you interpret it or in how you process it.
     The reason that I don't share much with people in my world is that I don't think most are ready to receive what He's shown me. In fact, some of those "revelations" I wouldn't have been able to receive myself a year ago. Each one seems to build on the other. The parable of the sower in Mark 4 affirms this. It says that whoever understands the word they are given and takes it to heart, will be given more. This is the parable that talks about 30, 60 and 100 fold. It's sad when preachers and teachers use it to speak of people getting money. The "riches" we receive primarily is Him (the pearl of Great Price) and the truths of His Word and Kingdom.
     Yesterday, though, I did find myself sharing something that God has shown me to a  woman who I've been having Bible Study with for a few months. She is opened to His new truths. I am saying "new" compared to the truths we have been taught in our churches that many hold on to, come hell or high water. Sad, that we are so sure, we can't open up to something the Lord, by His Holy Spirit, would show us to bring correction in what we had formerly believed.
     But, yesterday, as we studied and discussed many things applying the truth to our lives, I shared with her how her frustration may be God shaking up her day because He wants her to give it to Him for His use, instead of her creating a mental agenda of what she wants to get done. The problem has been with her lately that things and people keep interfering with "her list." She honestly seemed to be surprised to hear that God may want her day, and in fact, has never even considered it. Not until now, when things seemed to be falling apart.
     As I thought about what was shared yesterday, the Scripture came to me that says that our spiritual act of worship is to give ourselves as a living sacrifice to Him. That is what I was referring to yesterday. Our lives are broken up into days. Do we offer ourselves to Him each day so that He can use us for what He wants to use us for?
      You might say that you have a job, so how can you do that? Well, the Word says we serve our employers as we serve Christ. Or if you are a boss, we treat our employees as Christ treats us. (I am using the master/slave reference here, which I think is a fair comparison.) Have you ever thought that when you are on the job, that you still belong to Christ first, and that your service is to Him as you "serve" your employee or employer?
     I also found out yesterday (from talking with this same woman's husband on a separate occasion)  that some people don't believe that being in Christ and following His counsel from His Word applies to our everyday lives. I remain appalled at this. I guess people have put Him in a box; the box of the church building and leave Him there, go about their business day to day with their own disjointed answers, and then go back and "worship" Him on Sundays. Whew-amazing! Amazingly sad :(  !!!
     This truth of giving our lives as living sacrifices in our real, daily life for Him to use is but one of the revelations He has shown me. I long to share these wonderful truths with others, and sometimes I wonder why God has shown them to me. I feel responsible for knowing them. Maybe this understanding is to be shared more widely in the future in some way? Until then, I will just keep on sharing them with you, the worldwide, invisible , blog ecclesia.
     Maybe that is the sole purpose He's shown them to me, and that is o.k. I'm not looking for a large following. In fact, I'm not looking for a following at all. I want people to follow Him, and in all their getting, get understanding. I want people to seek God, and believe that they will find Him, or that He will make Himself known to them as He says.
     I find it fascinating that God says His ways are past finding out, and that He also says that He will show us great and unsearchable things, at the same time. I am beginning to love His seeming "contradictory" nature. I know that He is only contradictory in our understanding, and that He is God and all of who He is, we can and we will not understand, for He is God!!!!
    I encourage you to desire and dig for His truths and ways, and be filled with the richness of His Word. Seek Him and know Him and love Him and grow in His likeness! And, when He gives an open door, share what He's shown you, or just digest it. It is better than honey!!!


Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Responding to His Love

Old covenant-If you sin, you die. No hope.
New covenant-There is forgiveness for your sin. Hope through Christ.
What is the determining factor in participating in the new covenant? Turning unto Him, believing what He did for you is truth, and receiving salvation from His hand of grace and mercy.
     What about a grateful heart; is that necessary or can someone just snatch the blessing and go about his business of life? Does one's heart attitude towards "so great a salvation" matter to God? Is salvation something we just "get" to attempt to ensure living eternally with Him after we die?
     It sounds cold, doesn't it? To flippantly believe the truth without realizing the sacrifice on His part seems like a tenuous position to me. I know that I haven't reached the depths of understanding His sacrifice myself. Sometimes when I am listening to a certain worship song or hymn that is focusing on His sacrifice, I am taken to a deeper level of understanding, and there I find gratitude welling up out of the depths of me. I like it when I experience that. I feel a connection with Him then.
     I have prayed for gratitude in my life. I have observed and seen that I seem to take many things for granted, and I don't want to. I want to see and appreciate and be thankful for those things He has done for me daily. I want to especially see more of what He did for me on the cross in reality; the evidence of His love on a deeper and deeper level. I want to see the many layers of His love, and respond in heartfelt worship with my life.
     Slowly I've seen how He has granted me that prayer. Through His work on the inside of me, He's removed some of the barriers I've had that has blocked gratitude from being felt and expressed. I am now seeing more of the blessings He's brought into my life, and I am finding that I am expressing them to others slowly, and it feels good.
     There was a time in my life when "all hell was breaking loose" and what surfaced was the enduring reminder that God gave His Son to me, and for that I could give thanks. So, when all is stripped away, I think, we can see more clearly what really matters. His love remains. We can't be thankful enough!

     This song was the one God used to remind me of what is really important many years ago.

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

What does Your Easy Yoke Feel Like?

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS." For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt. 11: 29, 30.

     To want to follow because someone has loved you, and you spuriously desire to do what they desire, is somewhat of a foreign concept to me. My husband said that I was raised under law, not grace, and maybe that is the reason why I am lacking in this understanding.
     I was told what to do, and expected to do it without question. I know my parents loved me to the best of their ability, and that was by teaching me right from wrong. I raised my children under the same pretext, and for many years held myself in judgement because of that. God has freed me from guilt by forgiving me. I still see through a glass darkly, though, when trying to understand what, being raised in an environment of grace, would have looked like. I think the above Scripture may be a part of it.
    There was alot of expectations in my upbringing, with pressure. Atleast that's how I saw it, and it's how I felt it. As a result, I developed anxieties and fears. I never really knew if I measured up, and I tied "my being accepted" in with that in my mind. I was the type person who observed what was expected, and tried to walk the walk so that I wouldn't get in trouble. Whenever, one of my parents got mad at me, my subconcsious mind, registered that as rejection of me. Consequently, I didn't feel loved.
     Today, God is delivering me slowly of the wounds of rejection, and replacing the understanding that He totally accepts me, and will never reject me based on my poor performance. Believing this is extra hard, since this wasn't felt by me growing up, in the rule-based environment. I am so grateful that He is "restoring the years the locusts ate" as a result of my childhood.
     But, I am still sensitive to other people's anger towards me. My being has been so used to responding with feelings of rejection , fear and guilt when that happens. The old programming says that if someone gets mad at me, than I must have done something wrong. I still need further deliverance in this area, but I must say that this false belief is slowly fading, by the healing power of God on the inside of me.
     I'm wondering what an "easy yoke" feels like. I know that God wants me to trust Him and follow in His ways, but whenever something seems like a "rule" the old me naturally thinks in terms of "oppression," (hard and fast expectations and shaming consequences if it is not done right) which is anything but easy. So, there have been many entanglements built inside of me which God has been faithful to undo, and I know that He will continue to until I am totally cleansed and made right.
     Not that there aren't rules when raising children, but it's the spirit in which they are conveyed. "The law brings death, but the Spirit gives life." This Spirit is full of kindness and accepting love, which if given, causes the one who receives it to want to follow the One who gives it. Parents who have His Spirit and relate to their children with that kind of love, demonstrate to them, who He is. That is one of the most important things a parent can do to, and for their children, I believe.
     I truly want to be in that place of knowing God in the way He speaks of Himself in the Scripture above. I want to know what it feels like to be yoked with Him and it feel easy and light; to know His love for me to a degree of being able to relax in Him and rest in my soul. Come, Lord Jesus.



Monday, April 01, 2013

CHRIST IN US; not Christ is Us!!!

     I just read something someone posted on Facebook about "who we are in Christ" that totally blew me away. Not because it was so true, but because it was so not true, and bordering on blasphemy.
     I won't quote it here, as it was from someone I knew, but it had to do with the  thinking that because Christ is in us, we are Him, or it came close to saying that. Not to be totally mysterious here, one of the lines that was stated was, "We are deliverance."
     I know that Christ lives in us, but make no mistake about it, that doesn't make us Him! There has to be a line between the two! As His word says, "He is the Potter; I am the Clay." The distinction here must be understood, so that we can honor Him rightly. This post came close to stating that we honor Him by being Him. I was appalled!
     When we remove ourselves from "dying daily" or letting the cross being layed on us in a real way as we agree to go through His baptism of fire, the only thing left is us exalting ourselves to a position which isn't ours, by saying "we are Him," trying to justify our ego-centric lifestyle.
     I guess this is where it has come to in our hedonistic society. That is why we truly need prayer here in America. Many know nothing of dying to self, and I don't think many want to hear that-"itching ears" God calls it.
      Satan has built his church and it has many members. It has teachers, prophets, doctrines, and preachers to espouse the god of "SELF," deceived into thinking they are serving God.
     This same person a few years ago was heard saying that if you are not healthy and wealthy that he doubted their salvation, to which the pastor of that church did not correct him in any way.
     The true ecclesia of God, I am becoming more and more convinced, is God's hidden ones; the ones who are letting Him decrease them so that He may increase. While it's true that Christ is to be seen through us, it's only because we have seen that "in our flesh is no good thing" and have yielded to His work of conforming us into His image, which requires much pain and suffering and dying. Jesus learned obedience by His suffering, and we must too. Are we better than Him? (see hymn below; it's precepts are backed up by Scripture. It would be worth your while to spend time in the Word and see for yourself.)
     Those who want to skip that part (the part of dying to self) become only dressed-up flesh, living for themselves while convincing themselves they are not. How can they say with Paul and all the other followers of Jesus, that "what they have lost they count as gain?"  What have they lost really? They've only gained for themselves in this life.
     Flee from the self-exalting "gospels of satan" out there!!!We must die to ourselves, brothers and sisters, and let Him arise in us, so that the world can see Him and not us!!!!  He deserves all the praise-To God Alone Be the Glory, for what He has done!!!

Go To Dark Gethsemane-(a hymn)

Go to dark Gethsemane, ye that feel the tempter’s power;
Your Redeemer’s conflict see, watch with Him one bitter hour,
Turn not from His griefs away; learn of Jesus Christ to pray.

See Him at the judgment hall, beaten, bound, reviled, arraigned;
O the wormwood and the gall! O the pangs His soul sustained!
Shun not suffering, shame, or loss; learn of Christ to bear the cross.

Calvary’s mournful mountain climb; there, adoring at His feet,
Mark that miracle of time, God’s own sacrifice complete.
“It is finished!” hear Him cry; learn of Jesus Christ to die.

Early hasten to the tomb where they laid His breathless clay;
All is solitude and gloom. Who has taken Him away?
Christ is risen! He meets our eyes; Savior, teach us so to rise.