Help Us To Forgive

     The importance of forgiveness is vital to one's spiritual growth and even in keeping a good relationship with the Lord. If someone lets hurts and wounds of the past build up and not forgive those who have hurt them, it will turn into hate. Hate is the cancer of the soul, and will take someone over completely, turning them into someone they thought they would never be. Or it's possible that they won't even see themselves anymore, as I believe, sin blinds us. But others, from the outside looking in, will see what they've become.
     Digging deeper, the essence of why someone doesn't forgive may be that they haven't seen their own sins as "bad" as someone else's, although they are. I think it may be the results of sin which are so bad, and not the particular sin itself. Let me explain using an everyday sin we all commit; the sin of indifference, or witholding love.
     Scenario: A husband reaches out to his wife in the morning with a smile on his face, and a hug. She accepts his embrace, but witholds her own reciprocal embrace because she wants to get her coffee. She is witholding her love from him, and is instead preferring her own wants and needs first. What does this communicate to her husband? "I am more important than you; than your love. You have gotten in the way of my agenda, and I don't like it." Perhaps even, "you are a bother to me. I have more important things to do." She has hurt him on a level she doesn't even realize, and has created distance between them. I firmly believe that there is non-verbal communication that happens between people, which can bring destruction in relationships, even unknowingly.
     When an anatomy of a sin is done, it seems extreme, even wrong. I mean, if we are to see sin as it is under the surface, we can realize the damage we do daily to one another, violating the "law of love." Truly, though, as David said, "it is against You, O God, that I have sinned." When we sin against another and hurt them, we are really sinning against God, and hurting Him.
     So, what are we to do? Thank goodness that we can ask for forgiveness from Him, and be assured that He will give it to us, appropriating the blood of Jesus' on our behalf which has been shed.
     But, the subject is forgiving others. It goes hand in hand with realizing our own sin (even in the minutest detail, showing the destruction it causes) which God has forgiven us of, and then passing that same forgiveness on unto them.
     Alot of our unforgiveness is due to what we think someone has done to us, and not in what they have actually done. We have thought we deserved better treatment, didn't get it, were mad or hurt, and held it against them. All the while, they remain ignorant to what they did wrong and yet they know there is a distance between them and us.
     The importance of telling someone how they have hurt us, thereby giving them an opportunity to either explain their actions or ask for forgiveness, is paramount in keeping an avenue of understanding between two people. Most of the time, we suppress our feelings, in fear of what they may say or do, and resent them anyway, holding unforgiveness against them. Not a good way to deal with things. So, we think someone needs to ask our forgiveness, while it is us who needs for God to forgive us for holding them in unforgiveness for alleged offenses we haven't even given them a chance to know about. How unfair is that? Oh, the tangled webs we weave.
     So, it is important to communicate with loved ones in what is going on in our hearts, to check and see if what has been said or done, is a true perception. It is also important to forgive them when they ask for our forgiveness, and to ask others' forgiveness when we have done wrong.  The Scripture still lingers: "If you don't forgive others of their sins, neither will I forgive yours." It is that serious to God. Is it really worth it to us to hold others in judgement, risking that God will hold us in His judgement? The results are staggering, and may be even eternal.