Great and Unsearchable Things

Things the Lord gives me, and then I write them.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Dissociation-A gift from God?

     I have an incredible ability to "dissociate" myself from reality. I don't know if this is good or not. It does serve as a protection against the pain and hurt that comes from looking at something head-on, such as the Boston bombing yesterday. As you've probably noticed, my mind can go down avenues in ways many other people don't or won't. I know that about myself, so when something is too intense for me to cope with because of something that happens, and what I know my mind will do with it, and how that will affect me emotionally, I "dissociate" or distance myself from it to a degree, but at the same time, I am aware, and not delusional.
     "Earth to Patti," my sister used to say whenever I went to that removed place in my mind growing up. One down side to this coping mechanism is that I don't remember certain things that happened in detail. Again, this might be good. Many years ago, something terrifying happened to me, and it was then I realized that "not knowing" things can be a good thing, when "knowing them" would have caused more pain and fear. So, maybe God gives us this ability for those who would go over the edge otherwise.  
      Of course, it's my own emotions that I struggle with, recognizing that there are 2 natures within me, and I do not want the flesh to dominate the Spirit in me. In reference to the horrible bombing yesterday, coupled with all the repeated shootings these past few years, and the international threats coming at us, our self-protective flesh is very tempted to kick into action. I heard someone say one time, and I believe it's true, that our self-protection is the last thing to go in becoming One with Jesus.
     To be able to let Him defend you in all things, is to let ourselves completely die, and His Spirit dominate in us. I do not want my heart to "grow cold," as "lawlessness increases" in these last days. That is part of the reason I don't expose myself in great detail to all the evil that is happening on this earth now. It stirs up the nature that I am trying to let die. Cultivating His Spirit in me, and living in the realm of the Spirit is the direction I am wanting to go to combat that, to experience His heart and mind through it all. And, I believe this "blocking" ability helps me in that too.
     "Do what ever it takes" to avoid anything which triggers our fleshly emotions and control from taking over in a situation, especially in things which a person struggles with, such as fear in my case. I have found in my life, that when I am fearful, than I try and take control of the situation in a hurtful manner to others; something I want to avoid.
     So, what psychologists may call unhealthy, may be God's protective gift to us in many situations. It may be something He's put in us to "keep" us in His hand, and to "keep" us from falling from Him. Our ways are not His ways.


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