The Damage of Passivity
The heartache of a person who has a passive spouse or parent is deep and real.
A passive person is a fearful person. They are afraid of rejection, so they hold back verbally and in action. Their silent withdrawal effects the ones they “secretly” love, as they interpret their behavior as aloof, non-caring, and neglectful. This can result in a spouse or child to feel a lack of connection, that they don’t even matter, or that they are not worth loving. If the passive person is a kind person, it can complicate matters, by causing the spouse or child to experience false guilt for even having those feelings.
If the passive person doesn’t get healed, but chooses to stay in their shell, over time, the ones they “secretly” love may give up on getting the love or connection they desire and need. This could result in them rejecting the passive person; the very thing they tried to avoid and protect themselves from in the first place.
Self-protection never works in the long run. God calls us to be healed, and to be engaged with Him in this process. Although painful in itself to let down our walls, and risk trusting Him to protect and defend us, the end result, if we do, is having an opened heart where love can flow between 2 people, and to, at least, have a chance for a strong and good relationship. If you don’t get healed, the pain you are causing your loved ones, never goes away. You thought being quiet and remaining uninvolved would show you loved them, but it only caused them pain.
Are you that passive person? You owe it to yourself, first, and then to your loved ones, to be healed.
A passive person is a fearful person. They are afraid of rejection, so they hold back verbally and in action. Their silent withdrawal effects the ones they “secretly” love, as they interpret their behavior as aloof, non-caring, and neglectful. This can result in a spouse or child to feel a lack of connection, that they don’t even matter, or that they are not worth loving. If the passive person is a kind person, it can complicate matters, by causing the spouse or child to experience false guilt for even having those feelings.
If the passive person doesn’t get healed, but chooses to stay in their shell, over time, the ones they “secretly” love may give up on getting the love or connection they desire and need. This could result in them rejecting the passive person; the very thing they tried to avoid and protect themselves from in the first place.
Self-protection never works in the long run. God calls us to be healed, and to be engaged with Him in this process. Although painful in itself to let down our walls, and risk trusting Him to protect and defend us, the end result, if we do, is having an opened heart where love can flow between 2 people, and to, at least, have a chance for a strong and good relationship. If you don’t get healed, the pain you are causing your loved ones, never goes away. You thought being quiet and remaining uninvolved would show you loved them, but it only caused them pain.
Are you that passive person? You owe it to yourself, first, and then to your loved ones, to be healed.
posted by Patti Blount @ 5:48 AM
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