Out of the Darkness; Into the Light

     Yesterday I took my daughter-in-law out to lunch for her birthday, and had a very pleasant time. I am so proud of God in her life. He has taken her from a very lost and confused young woman who was raised in the Jewish faith, saved her many years ago, and has made, and is continuing to make all things new in her. She once was lost, but now she's found. She's found in Him. She shared with me that the Lord is dealing with her about the walls she has erected over the years, and is showing her how to dismantle them. Oh, the wonderful work of the Spirit! My heart leapt as I heard this! He is still at work in them (her and my son) both to will and to do of His good pleasure, conforming them to His image.
     As the conversation developed, I ended up telling a brief snippet of my testimony, prompted by one of her questions. A few years ago, I wrote a booklet about our families' testimony, including my won personal one. I had given a booklet to each one of our children. I guess either my daughter-in-law had forgotten it, or maybe she didn't have time to read it then. Nonetheless, now here I was re-enacting how God saved me.
     I can't remember the specific year it happened. I had thought previously it was when my second son, Pat, was 16, which would have made the year 1990. One day when my 3 teenaged children were getting ready for school and about to get in the car, Pat was at the back door, and for some reason  I was yelling at him. Our lives were filled with strife then. For some reason, on that day, my husband had had enough of me treating the kids like that, and so he intervened and pushed me to the floor. Many years later, he said that he had wanted to push me through the french doors on the front of our house. Anyway, they left the house, and my husband took them to school.
    I was all alone on the floor, and it was very quiet and eery. I was scared, so I just remained there; I was paralyzed.  I was filled with guilt, feeling like a condemned criminal waiting execution. In reality, I truly was a prisoner of my sins.
     In the quiet, God brought a vision to me with interpretation and warning. He said, "If you continue to live like this, this is what your life will end up looking like and being." The vision was one of a ruined corn field, with moldy and diseased plants; no life, only death there. Immediately, He spoke to my spirit again and said that if I would turn to Him, that He would restore the years that the locusts had eaten in our lives. There was no choice. The path was clear. The die had been cast. I wanted and I needed Jesus to save me. And I indicated to Him, "I choose You."
     As I relayed how God had come to me and presented me with an offer that I couldn't refuse, my daugther-in-law's eyes began to tear up. Seeing her tears made me look at what God had done for me even more clearly. Here I was a mother and wife who had failed in every sense of the word, lying there reaping what I had sown for many years, without hope, and Someone looking on, cared for me! And He came to me! He offered me a way of escape from all the pain and suffering, while I was yet a sinner; Christ died for me. There is still so much to glean from this, and I know I will continue to do so until I see Him face to face. This kind of love is unthinkable to our finite minds; surely unknowable to our hearts that have only known human conditional love.
     I bought a shirt for my 13  year old grandaughter for her birthday which says, "I know where love comes from, then it says,"John 3:16." Yes, for God so loved Me, that He sacrificed His only Son, for Me. He choose to suffer tremendous pain, even the pain of having His heart ripped out as He gave up His own Son on my behalf, so that I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. He would suffer instead. And, He thinks I was worth it. A lost, lonely, sin-filled and  tormented soul, lying limp on the kitchen floor, unknown to anyone but Him. He saw; He came; He loved. He offered me His light and Help in exchange for my darkness. What a deal beyond words. I am still stunned as I realize more fully just what He has done for me, because of His love.

It has been so long since I have heard this song! The love He has for me and for every sinner who is is bondage; who is figuratively, or like me even literally, on the floor and couldn't get up because I was stuck in my sins, He offers this same love and forgiveness and hope to you, if you will but receive it through His Son's death on your behalf. He died so that you might have life. Don't die in your sins, like I would have. Live!
P.S.-If you would like a copy of our families' testimony, I will send you one in the mail. My email address is on my profile, for you to let me know your postal address.

Hello, Taiwan!!!

Jehovah Shalom-Our Peace

     Woke up this morning by the ringing of our home phone. My daughter called from California. She relayed to my husband that a "drunk" had tried to kick down her door, so she called the police. She said it took them 20 minutes to get there, and when they arrived, they appeared very unconcerned, barely even looking around to try and catch the guy.
     My daughter and her son live alone. She was divorced 6 years ago, and has moved 3 times since then, saying that each place she's lived, she believes was by the leading of the Lord. I don't want to question that, because who am I to really know those kinds of things. Ever since she was radically saved, she has followed His leading, as it should be.
     In fact, even before she was saved, she followed His direction with abandon, and ended up in Florida, not knowing that she would be met by Him in a revival. Here He came to her and brought deliverance and this is where she received Him, never to look back. He rescued her from drugs and other destructive behaviors, that she had been entangled with for years, bringing heartache to herself, and to us, as we stood by and watched. Not until I choose Him, as He came to me one day, did I know how to handle this fearful situation. After that, I began to lift my entire family up to Him, and He gave me assurance that one day He would rescue them all. My husband came next, when he was so frightened for her life, that he accepted Him, and then shortly after that, she came to receive His salvation.
     So, here we are about 16 years later. When my husband got back in bed, we prayed for our daughter and our grandson, that God would protect and keep them. Being seperated physically, made running to God in this matter, easier really. It was interesting where my mind wanted to go in all of this. Thoughts of "I knew she shouldn't have moved too far away from us," tried to encroach on the faith I had just put in God to do what we had asked.
     I remember another time when my son's, then girlfriend, now wife, was in a  dangerous situation, and he was desperately fearful, and sharing that with me. She was too far away from him for him to physically rescue her.  Suddenly, a sure word of the Lord came to me, which I shared with him. It was, "The Lord's arm is not too short that it cannot save." I have taken that to mean, that no matter where someone is either geographically or spiritually or emotionally, God is right there, and will help, as we call out to Him. I take that stance now with my daughter, as the Spirit is bringing that to mind. 
     Of course, as her natural mother, and the nature of mother's, I want to be with her, rescue her and calm her fears by saying or doing something that would bring here comfort and peace of mind. But, really when I realize who God is, how much more can He do those things for her? Even if she is 2000 miles away from me and her Dad. He transcends space, and He can bring so much more comfort and peace, then we can even think of. Sometimes, in fact, He is the only One who can bring peace.
     I will briefly share a time when He did that for me: About the same time and year my daughter came to the Lord in Florida, 5 men broke into my house, tied me up, threatened by life, took our stuff and kicked me in the head, before leaving. The night before the trial was to begin, the fear in me was so strong that I told the Lord, that unless I had His peace, I was going to drop the charges. This wasn't an idle threat; I knew I couldn't go through with it, without His felt presence. After praying, I  still felt fearful. The next morning, I woke up fine. I had what it took to go through with it. I had His peace. Looking back, I knew that NOTHING anyone said to me or did for me would bring comfort to me. It went deeper than that. I needed His supernatural presence in me to calm my fears, and He came though for me, in me; right there by my side.
     So, with my daughter. Perhaps us not being there with her, will cause her to press in further and be totally open before Him, asking Him for what only He can give her. What better Hands for her to be in? What purer Love? What greater Peace, than His to cover her fear-filled mind and heart? Oh, I feel much better now, remembering and acknowledging who He is. He is that for me and He is that for her. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, YOU ARE WITH ME AND MY DAUGHTER AND GRANDSON." Thank you, Lord for your love, comfort, assurance and peace.

P.S.-I noticed that I've run to Jehovah, my Peace twice this month! (See Oct. 10th post, if interested.) Yes, He is limitless, and continues to supply all of our need time after time after time. He has no expiration date!!!
Hello, South Africa!!! Good to see you here. God bless you and keep you with His perfect peace today.

 

What Haven't We Given to Him?

     My husband has always "worked by the sweat of his brow." He is a farmer. This statement, as you remember, was the curse God put on mankind after the Fall. A thought just popped into my head. When Adam sinned, he made a decision to put himself outside the loving provision of God. And so, perhaps that is why God said that he then must work, or provide for himself. Because Adam in his mistrust of God really was saying he wanted to anyway.
     But, if that is so, what should it look like today? It has been said that we are not under a curse any longer, since the coming of Jesus and because of the cross, we have been released from any and all curses. I am not sure that is right. While it's true we have been released from the curse of the law of sin and death, but what about the curses that were  given by God to Adam and Eve; are we still under them too? I've heard of one or two people who believe that those curses are now gone, too, and so they don't work or they haven't had pain in childbirth. (Eve's curse that she would.)
     It would seem like since we have been redeemed from the effects of the Fall through Jesus Christ, then those curses would stop also. Let's imagine if they did stop. I will make it personal. Since my husband and I live in the country, we do have ground to plant a garden for food. Let's say he stops working on the farm tomorrow, so that we could live in the freedom of the redemption, trusting God only for our provision.
     What would happen? For one thing, everyone would think us crazy or lazy, they'd judge us and most would eventually reject us. That is just pure reality. Of course, first we would have sought the Lord about all of this, and about what He would have us  do with our remaining days. We would take the money we had out of the bank, and store it someplace else, not depending on man's systems to survive, but only God. Our children would think us deceived and probably think since we live away from people, that we've lost our perspective. (and possibly our minds) They would beef up the prayers on our behalf, and try to show us where we are wrong.
     Whatever God would tell us to do, we would do it. Perhaps move to a foreign country and reach out to the lost there. Or it could be one of a million things, as God is not lacking for vision!!! We would not be divided over working for our own provision, and doing God's will completely. There would definately be a "cost" in going that path. In fact, we would lose almost everything and possibly everybody in the process. Do we have that kind of trust in God to provide for us if we did that?
    I wish I knew about that curse of working by the sweat of the brow. Is it still in effect? Are we free to serve the living God without distraction or being in two different worlds? God says that if we seek first His Kingdom, then all these things (what to eat, wear, etc.) would be added unto us. It's a mystery. He hasn't revealed this clearly to me, or maybe it's just right there in front of me, and I don't want to see it because I don't have enough trust in Him to step out. Then again, if I did,  my husband, who has been made to work all his life, would have to see it too.
     I guess a better question would be, "can work become an idol" which interfers with one's relationship with God. Do we put work first? And if we do, would we be willing to give our profession or lands over to Him, even leaving it or them if He directed us to? Have we even asked? Yes, that is the point, I think. God, please help us be willing to lay it all down for You and what you would have us do with our lives, no matter what!

 

The King's Desires

     I think  the more expansive our vision can be, the better. I mean in the spiritual realm. It's one thing to "see" that it is God's will that we do what He wills, not only in our live decisions, but also in letting Him change us so that our hearts are in line with it. That is all well and good, but did you know His vision is even greater than that?
     I was reading an article last night that my husband had printed off the internet many years ago, pertaining to the purposes of God. It was saying that He wants a family of sons to rule and reign with Him, and that is one of His reasons for conforming us to His image. It says that Jesus was the first born of many sons, and that He was pre-existed as we know time, and that it is possible that we were too. By that I mean, that before we physically made our appearance on earth, that we were with the Father in eternity. All this can get rather ethereal sounding, and it is, as it is spiritually discerned and revealed.
     So why does all this matter? What does that have to do with my life today on this earth? I'm not sure at the moment, but I know that I am wanting to continue to read the article this morning, being compelled by the Spirit to do so. It is as if the Lord wants to continue to take us from dimension to dimension, and as we go through these levels, our spirits become somehow more "one" with His. But it's not only understanding that counts, but in receiving the truths that actually make this happen. And we don't really know how and when it does. It is all God and how He operates when our heart's desire is for Him to have His way in us. It just happens.
     Since the ladies and I met the other day for the Bible Study at my home, something happened in me. I was more able to see the Spirit moving, not only in them, but also in the world, as He is drawing more and more people into His swirl, like a hurricane where He is the eye. He is moving on hearts whose deepest desire is for Him to truly have His way in them, and only He really knows that. It is a beautiful sight to behold and comforting too, seeing myself drawn to others with His cords of love, and feeling closer to them and Him together. He will bring many sons to glory!!!
     Seeing in this realm, gives us a view that transcends this earthly existence. I always wanted to be a soaring eagle, and at the same time, wondered what that meant. I think it might mean to be in a place with Him, that earthly matters, including personal concerns, are so to speak, below us or not able to touch us, or move us in any way. Can we get there while still living here? I'm not sure, but I believe that if we continue to want His purposes for us being here (on this planet) fulfilled in and through us, He will move us higher and higher in Him. Not in pride, but in humble submission, laying down all we want or hope for, and wanting what He wants.

I thought it would be nice for our Russian brothers and sisters to have their language (atleast I think it's Russian) printed. This is how I found the video. It is sung in English, though. Enjoy!!! And, hello and welcome to my family from Israel.

P.S.-His desire that "none will perish" just rose up in me. Would all of you who are part of His family across the globe please ask God to send forth more laborers to share the glorious Gospel to those who do not yet know? In the dark places that have no hope? That His heart's desire would be realized there? I believe if His worldwide family would pray His will in this matter, that He would begin to move, by His Spirit to direct our hearts in line with His,and His purposes would be pre-eminent on this earth, as they are in Heaven. Thank you, and start to look for that to happen. Your focus will change, and you will begin to see as He does.  Amen.
    

The Mind of our Heart

     Have you ever given your mind to God? I have. Some may say that since He gave it to us, then we should use it. Dangerous thought, if that mind is carnal. Scripture says things from our carnal mind are evil, devilish and sensual. So, I gave mine away. In fact, one time I was at a charismatic church, when they had a woman there, which they said had the gift of prophecy. She was praying for a women who had gone up front. When she came to one woman, she said, "I see a big sword, and in the spirit, I see it cutting off your head." Although, the word wasn't for me, I claimed it for myself, thinking, "God, I want that to be me." I was, in effect, saying that I put my carnal mind on the altar, and was offering it to Him to "burn out all the dross."
     He says that we have the mind of Christ, and I don't know how all that works, and I don't need to know, but I do know that some of the thoughts that I have, I don't want, and I know they don't honor Him. Again He says that out of our mouth, the heart speaks, so the giving of my mind as an offering, brings us back to the heart again, and the process of Him giving me a heart of flesh, instead of my old heart of stone.
    Now, I believe that when He says He makes all things new in me when I received Him, that it is so. I also believe, however, that we go through the process of what already is in our being. That kind of reality can only happen in the spiritual realm; something being finished, and then it being in the process. Take for example the fact that Jesus conquered the devil and all demons and darkness when He died on the cross, and yet all enemies' have not been put under His feet yet. They have, but they haven't. Same is true inside of us: We have been made new, but it is not yet seen in us, but we can be assured that He is doing it, if we have submitted to this process.
     Back to the mind-When He says to think on things that are pure, lovely, a good report, etc. I don't think we can do that in our own will-power. Some might say, "well, He wouldn't have said that, if we couldn't do it." I agree on the point that He does not try and set us up to fail. I believe He is showing us what our minds will think on, as they are progressively redeemed in the process. Only His light in us, can think on those things. In light of that reality, I did not really have to wish my head get cut off, but I know God got my point, and that was that I wanted to think His thoughts, and not my own. It was a way of inviting Him into my whole being, even my mind for His redemptive process to have it's way. (BTW-this process has a long sophisticated name called santification or the cleansing of God, which is part of our salvation, won for us by Jesus on the cross, and it's the part that if we want it will cause us to die daily, and live for Him more and more. It takes our unredeemed soul, and conforms it to His image, and it is a painful process as the flesh "dies hard.")
     So, I praise God for His touching my mind in this way, knowing that as He continues this work in me, my heart will become more alive to Him and His ways, and this in turn will affect my mind. It is really called the mind of our heart; it's not our brains as we may think . So, again, I'm thankful to be reminded this day once again, that He is at work in me both to will and to do of His good pleasure. Oh, that's a good thought!!!

 

Healing: Physical, Spiritual or Both?

     At this moment I am awake and it is 2:04 AM. Pain in my back, legs and feet woke me up, so I got up, knowing that it would be futile to try and sleep. Back in 1991, I experienced a herniated disc, which to my understanding is when a disc in the back gets a hole, rip or tear in it, and "blows" so to speak, and the fluid inside leaks out causing the bones on either side of the disc to get closer together and pinch a nerve or nerves. When that happened, the pain was so bad, I had to crawl on my knees and then my husband helped me get up very slowly on the bed. I could only lie there on my back with my knees bent, and then was very careful not to move at all, breathing very slowly. In fact, it was about this time in the morning that it happened and he had to drive to his sister's house to get some pain medication for me. When morning came, my husband took me to the Dr. and he immediately put me in the hospital and ordered me to be put in traction. I stayed that way for 3 days; then they released me, showed me a few exercises to do, and sent me home.
     Well, I must confess, I never was consistent in doing them, or in developing and sticking with any regular exercise program. So, what's my point? Oh, I have lots of them. For one thing, I don't have a clear picture of healing. I was a part of a denomination once that taught that healing was part of the atonement. They would pray and pray and pray for people to be healed, and I'd pray with them, but I must say I never really saw anyone healed. Not that I don't believe God heals. I do believe that, but I believe it is according to His sovereign will that He does so.
     As far as it being a provision of the cross, using the Scripture, "by His stripes we are healed," I guess I'd say that doesn't convince me. I believe that means we are healed of our sin-sickness. I know many believers who believe we almost are "owed" healing, or that is our right, or even think it is denying the benefits of our salvation if we don't believe that way. And I am not trying to debate or conclude the issue here. I would like to as I don't like unresolved issues at all. I would honestly like to know from God's heart and mind, what the truth is about this.
     I know God is the Healer. In my situation, I guess to be honest, I would say that if I would ask God to heal me of my injured back, and of the nerve damage it has caused over the years, and seems to be getting worse, I'd have to say that I don't think I deserve to be healed because I haven't done all I could do to help myself ( exercise mainly, and drink more water) and that if I asked Him, it would seem like I would be taking advantage of His Grace. But, I'm in need of it even so!
     So, there is my dilemma. I desire to know the truth about physical healing, and I will continue to seek Him on that. I believe He's brought me to this point, for such a time as this. He wants to reveal His truth to me, so that I will be set free in my mind, and I'm ready to hear it, even if it contradicts what I am currently believing. Renewing of the mind it is called, and is a very basic part of the process of the restoration He is doing in me, and wants to do with all of His children.
     It really feels like love whenever He takes me aside like this and whispers, "learn of Me." I am beginning to love being "at His feet" taking in all He is and all He wants to teach me. My Rabbi; my teacher; my joy and my all. And the Settler of All my Dilemmas.

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What It Means to be One With the Father

     I have so many thoughts buzzing in my head this morning. I wonder which ones the Lord will use to write this blog. As I type, many times, I myself don't even know where it will lead. I take that to mean that God is guiding me to where He wants me to go.
     I begin the introductory meeting of the Bible Study I wrote about two days ago on my blog, and I am seeking God as to what to say in the introduction. Because the ladies don't have their books and study guides yet, I will give them out at this time. So, my thoughts have been in that direction. I think this is SOOOOOOO  important for all of us to go through this study, more important than anything else in our lives, and He is directing me to say that. You see, the holidays are coming up and I've seen it happen in the past where people suggest we "put it on hold" until after they are over, which would put us into January. I am not sure this will happen, but I am fully prepared if it does. In fact, that is why I believe the Lord would have me say that it is the most important thing in our lives; to combat this suggestion before it takes root. (Honestly, I think it's source is the enemy, even though the one who would suggest it wouldn't be aware of that. It would sound innocent enough, and even "reasonable" to most. That is what makes the enemies' ways so effective. He comes in the backdoor.)
     Why am I feeling that this study is so important at this time? I am sensing that the Day of the Lord is closer than we know or think.  Also, the content of the study is a matter of spiritual life or death. It is about dealing with those things on the inside of us that block the flow of God's love through us and to others. It will involve letting the Holy Spirit searching us and revealing those things, for His cleansing and healing. And so, Today is the day of Salvation! Yes, this day, we all can receive more of what it means to be saved, as He provides not only freedom from the power of sin for us, but also He offers redemption for our soul: our minds, our wills and our emotions. He wants to make us a "new creation" in every sense of the word.
     So, because the Day of the Lord is drawing closer in the physical realm, things like getting ready for the Holidays, or going about our earthly business, pales in comparison to letting Him to do the work on the inside of us, As the Scriptures say,""If a man cleanses himself from the latter ( of our own ignoble purposes) he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work." 2 Timothy 2: 21.
     Do we really want to be of no value to God while we live on this earth, or do we want to be useful for Him? That is really what it boils down to.
     So, if you read this, will you please pray for us today? I feel some spiritual warfare coming down the line. And, would you, as God's vessel, consider asking Him to search the inner recesses of your heart, so that he can reveal to you your uncleanliness to offer it back to Him for cleansing? His purging must be done in us, so that His Spirit of love can flow through us. Jesus' prayer was that we would be one with Him, as He and the Father were one-just in that same way!!! We can't be one until that cleansing is done. That is why this study today is so important. And it's important for you, too!

     This song sung by these humble people, blesses me. I hope it blesses you, too. May our Lord's prayer be answered.

P.S.-Hello, South Korea!!! So glad you are one board!!! The Lord bless you.
    

Land of the Rising Sun

     I noticed I've had 2 people from Japan view my blog! That's exciting to me!! Hello, Japan!!! Jesus loves you!!!
     I have already stated that people from other nations intrigue me, even though I have limited knowledge about them. Hmmmm, let's see-what do I know about Japan or have associations with it in any way?
     The first thing I think of is that my sister-in-law's brother, Leonard, and his wife were once missionaries to Japan. I was touched when I first heard that many years ago, and I was very young and naive then too. I thought that if someone had been called to be a missionary, then they had pledged to do that all the days of their life, and would live there always, no matter what happened. Well, later I heard that Leonard and his wife had left Japan, and then later divorced. Enough of my fairy-tale idealism! 
     Then, although I tried to push the memory back, I thought of how the US. dropped the bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki ending WWII. I read a book about it a few years ago, featuring different people's testimonies of what they were doing that day when the bomb hit, how they were affected, and what they are doing today. It was very uncomfortable and anxiety producing to face that cities were not just destroyed, but individual people. "Collateral damage" to use war terms. I hate those words, as they minimize the pain ,suffering and reality of what really happened. Please forgive us!
     The next memory, sort of associated with the one above is the fact that my Dad, who served proudly in the US Navy called the Japanese soldiers, "Japs," which was a derogatory term. Everytime I heard him use it, my stomach got quezy, because I don't like to hear anyone put down another people group. They are God's creation.
      On the lighter side, I think of the chef's that perform in the Japanese style restaurants here in America, chopping, flipping, and enflaming various dishes they are cooking. It's quite a show; very entertaining.
     I've also come in contact with someone lately who loves the Japanese people very much. I'm not sure why she has this attraction, but maybe it's because God is calling her to do mission work over there, but I don't even think she knows God speaks in that way. Maybe I should tell her.
     I've heard the Japanese are very industrious people, as most Asians are.  Their flag is white with a red circle in the middle, and I'm not sure what that stands for. (Maybe I'll "google" it later today)
I think of rice, kimonos, and the beautiful Japanese doll my son bought his daughter when he had a lay-over there on his way to Thailand last summer.
     Why am I writing these things? What does this have to do with the Kingdom of God? Well, the words of a song come to mind: "To know, know, know you , Is to love, love, love you," the song goes. Having a couple of people from Japan view my blog has quickened my mind to my associations with that country and made me focus on it,and those two people in particular. God knows them intimately, as He created everything about them. He sees them  even now.
Dear Lord-Whoever the Japanese people are who viewed this blog, I ask you to make Yourself known to them today. Please send laborers into their lives to testify of Your love and Grace that is available to them, and if they already know you, increase their understanding of that immeasurable Love and Grace towards us who believe. Amen.

Releasing His Love

     "Give and it shall be given to you," is a principal of  love, although we often think about it related to money, here in America. I was reminded of this truth just last night, through a small book called The Dynamics of Grace  by Marijo Lavine Hickman. (joyfulfaith.net)This Thursday a group of ladies and I are going to begin a Bible study, using this book.
     I am letting this truth permeate my soul today, reflecting on it in terms of how I love my husband, children and grandchildren, and examining what in me is hindering the flow of God's gracious flow through me to them. Of course these same hindrances also interfere with loving friends and all people in general who I come in contact with. But, as has been said, "Charity begins at home."
    I'd like to clarify how the Scripture, "give and it shall be given unto you," applies to love. It's not that we give love to get love-that would be self centered in itself. It's that we possess the love of God in our hearts (he says it has been shed abroad in us, if we are His) and when the log-jams are removed in us, His love can flow, and then as a result more and more of it can and will flow through us. This love of His flowing through us then becomes so satisfying to our souls (as we are experiencing it also as it does) that it feels like we are receiving it as well as the person we are imparting it to. His River of Life not only cleanses and refreshes us as it flows, but also the one it is flowing to, and then the two people feel closer as a result.
    I want the hindrances of fear and jealousy removed from my soul!!! I have struggled with these two beasts for too long. I've used them for protection and to try and justify my behavior and they have infected me, and have built a log-jam in my soul, preventing me from letting His love flow to others. Maybe that is why I have "struggled" so much.
     I know the study we are embarking upon addresses these type things, because I have read the book before, but I feel that this time I am more ready than ever to be rid of them. I'll let you know how it goes. Although I am facillitating the study, I feel I am in need as much as any of the ladies that are coming; maybe even more. Only God knows our souls and what we are dealing with personally.  I am excited to see what He will do in each one of us, as these truths are some of the most important ones in letting God have His way in us.
     Although I speak with the tongues of angels, give my body to be burned on Christ's behalf, give all my money away to the poor, and if I DON'T HAVE LOVE, I am nothing, God says in His Word. So, nothing I "do" means anything, if  the love of God is not flowing through me to others.
     This study is going to be hallmark in helping me release the precious perfume that He's placed within me. We are a fragrant offering to be poured out to the world, first to the immediate world in which we live. God, let it be so, through me.

Zion Awaits You

     Hello Ireland and Saudi Arabia!! Jesus does indeed love you!!!

     If "the whole world is under the sway of the wicked one", don't you think it would behoove us to "get out of Dodge, or the entanglements of this world, a.k.a Babylon? Babylon represents man and his acheivements, desires, goals, dreams, without God in His life. The book of Ecclesiastes sums this kind of existence up when it repeatedly exclaims that "all is vanity," speaking of the meaninglessness of life when man instead of God is on the throne. It is not only "meaningless" but dangerous and murderous to one's spiritual life.
     Knowing what it means to leave this existence, and seeking to either find Him or rediscover Him and what that may look like in your life, requires you to seek Him for revelation. He will lead you to His city, that of Zion where He resides. You may have to go through the wilderness first, though, so that He can remove those things out of you which you had picked up while living in Babylon. In fact, you not only may have to go there, you will have to go there. He calls us to that place of being alone with Him. We, His ecclesia, means "the called out ones." We are called out of the world's ways, systems, and values in everything we say, do and think by His cleansing fire on the inside of us. This will require decisions to make, as being in Him, is a totally new life.
     Probably the most dangerous position to be in, is to try and straddle the fence, with one foot in Babylon and the other in Zion. (Laodicean church) Babylon represents man, and Zion represents God. We must choose. Cast down your idols; anything or anyone that you put before God and His ways and will.  Today is the day of salvation-choose life, by choosing Jesus and He will lead you in the paths of righteousness for His names' sake! And, "if you endure to the end, you shall be saved."

Expressing Him Through our Vessel

"Because of my loyalty, priority and devotion to please GOD, I refuse to dress like this world. Your body is NOT yours, as you were "bought with a price". Please Let GOD cover you with HIS ROBE of RIGHTEOUSNESS!"

    I found this quote on a website this morning. It expresses my own reason that I dress like I dress. I have been disturbed for the past few years at all the "Christian cleavage" that the majority, it seems, of Christian woman display. We, who have not succumbed to the pull of the culture around us, will be accused, I'm sure of being legalistic. But, as the quote says and is my stance, I belong to Him and I desire to do as He wills.
    I've sought the Lord on if I have been deficient in not speaking to the younger women I know who are dressing in this way, as He says the older women should teach the younger. He has shown me that even if I did speak out they would not hear, as there is something in their hearts that needs removing, and that is the reason they are dressing like that. By His Holy Spirit, I am to lead by example, and this I have, and will continue to do.
     It happened so fast, and I am still stunned by it all. It seemed like one week Christians were teaching that "men are visual" as so we should dress modestly, and the next week those same women were showing 1-3" of cleavage unashamedly. It was as if  spirit of lust was sprinkled like fairy dust over the land. And, I say that soberly, as the enemy can bring spiritual blindness quickly is people are pre-disposed to that. Soon, even seeing that over and over can have an effect of desensitisizing nakedness.
     Yes, the "robe of righteousness" that He brings to us, as the above quote states. We do receive His righteous standing when we receive His finished work on  the cross, and then by not receiving the grace of God in vain, we display through ourselves and  by what we say and do, and even in what we wear, that same righteousness. Again, we are the "called-out ones;" the "ecclesia" of God. We are called out of the darkness of sin and into His marvelous light of the power to resist sin. We are called out of the values of this world, and into the values of His glorious Kingdom. WE ARE TO BE DIFFERENT THAN THE WORLD'S WAYS! Let our light so shine, He says. Present an alternative way; a way of truth, life and purity, both inside and out.
     Oh Lord, save us from this perverse and sinful generation! I did save you, He says. Now walk in it!

Husbands-Please gently take your wives aside and instruct them about this. Wash her with His Word.  Her flesh may rail, but if she is truly wanting to follow God's will, she will do as you and as He says.

God is Bigger Than an Elephant!

     I watched a DVD last night about a man who was an alcoholic, who later in his life began to help other alcoholics by beginning a program called Alcoholics Anonymous. Today I am reflecting on what is meant by being sober-minded, as God wants us to be, and how by studying "drunk" behavior we can differentiate between the two.
     When a person gets drunk, I believe that he is trying to escape from some realities that he/she finds too hard to bear or deal with, so they numb their mind by using alcohol, which "helps" them (atleast temporarily) get through for that period of time. We all can realize that this quick fix, only causes problems in the long run.
     I believe we all operate in all kinds of escape mechanisms in order to cope. It could be preoccupations with just about anything: shopping, internet, TV, hobbies, busyness in general, gaining knowledge, or politics. The list goes on. We use anything to focus our minds on, so as not to have to face the things in our lives that really disturb us under the surface, or on the  surface that we refuse to see; a.k.a. "the elephant in the living room." That way to live is not being sober-minded.
These "lesser" ways of trying to cope also cause problems that must eventually be faced, either voluntarily or by force. They continue to resurface if we don't face them.
     We get a glimpse of how we are to face them looking at what God said about Abraham, whenever He promised him that he would be a father of many nations. The Word says that Abraham was aware that he was past the age to have children (sober), yet He believed God. He didn't pretend (escape in his mind) that he still could have children, to try and bring God's promise to pass. He faced the truth, and then He trusted what God could and would do.
     This is how we too, can be sober-minded. Unless we face the truth in our lives (those things that are not right or are disturbing or upsetting to us) we can not fully trust God. I mean if nothing is wrong, why trust God? If we are always "blessed up one side and down the other" and we claim that all is well, than where is the reliance and dependence on God? Where is the need? All is well, I am handling it well, and it is well with my soul we think we have to think.
     Sometimes I believe we Christians try and impress others and even God with our "all is well" attitude. It is fine if it is genuine, but it may be yet another way to convince ourselves (delusion) to avoid the disturbing truth in our lives. What is wrong with confessing that there really is an elephant in the living room, if there really is? That is being sober-minded. It helps us look at it, and then call out to our God for help.
     I am having to face some elephants because of an upsetting episode that happened recently. From this happening, I became sober, as if I was drunk before with blinding pretense, and someone threw a cold glass of water in my face. I think it was God. And honestly, it really feels better than having the shroud on my mind, even though it doesn't feel good to look at the elephant. I mean the problem with the elephant is that he is sooooooooo big and unyielding to move, that I can't do it.
     So,  here I am in my weakness, and here He is in His strength. Only God can take care of the elephant, and I am calling out to Him to do it. Sometimes it's scary to wait on Him, especially since I have taken false comfort in the past in putting the burden on me to do it. If things escalate and the elephant starts thrashing around and destroying my house and making really loud noises, I feel compelled to try and  "do something." I hope that I am learning with this latest stirring that there are some things that I cannot handle.
     Lord, we give you our minds. Take away all the pretense, delusion and preoccupations that would blind us to the truth in our lives. Help us face it with You by our side, and trust You to make new and restore and handle our problems. If you would have us do something, let us know it clearly according to Your will alone. Thank you, God, for Your promises of healing, deliverance and restoration. Only You can do those things; not us. Wash us, shock us  and sober us up. In Jesus' Name and power.

Bad Seeds Being Sown?

     What do you do when others tell you about someone else? They may be sharing some hurt feelings of how that person has made them feel, and of their perspective of what is going on in that person's life, or even how they handled a situation involving someone else. You may know the person they are talking about or not. A better question to ask might be "what is gossip" and how do you deal with it?
     I don't think I handle it very well, but am seeking God on how to do it His way. Sometimes when the person begins to "share" with me, I am feeling like I need to listen to their heart's cry, and am thinking that I am helping them process everything by doing so. I am careful not to talk about the other person myself, and I just remain silent. Even though they may be talking about someone I know, I disregard their perspective they are presenting as fact, thinking that they are processing it through some hurt feelings or unresolved heart issues of their own. I am hoping, and I think I am correct in saying, that what they are saying does not and will not have an effect on how I view that person in the future. But I am not sure it won't and that is the problem. Once we hear something about someone else, could that little seed be sown in us to negatively affect our vision of them? It's a question worth considering. What I am thinking is doing something good for someone by listening, could actually be bad for them, me and the other person.
     When we seek to not only "talk the talk," but "walk the walk," things can get sticky as we bump into not only the heart issues of others, but also ourselves. The alternative to responding in my usual manner to "gossip" as stated above would be to tell that person not to talk about someone else with me. Then, I fear it would alienate them from me, and I would come off as "holier-than-thou" and I feel I wouldn't be someone they would see as approachable., but all of this could just be my fear of rejection, which would not be holy at all, but self-protective; another form of self-love.
     How did Jesus handle these things, and how does He want us to handle them? I feel certain that He would have us seek Him in each situation, and respond as the Holy Spirit would lead. I don't like having to "correct" someone, who should know better already, but who I have a relationship with which might be altered if I do. But, if I am not reacting as He would have me react when I hear gossip, than the relationship with Him should be the most important one. Again, the truth of "I must obey God rather than man" comes into play.
     I learned many years ago in a Bible Study that Pontius Pilate did not have the courage of his convictions. I don't want to be like him, and turn the Lord over to the angry mob like he did. Oh Lord, again I need your help. Give me grace and courage and your boldness with your gentleness, in handling delicate matters in this life.

Faith, Trust and Prospering

     There is some suggestion "out there" in the Christian realm that it's because someone doesn't have enough faith is the reason that healing does not happen. Also, along side of that view, is that if someone doesn't trust God enough, than something bad might happen. REALLY????
     I have a problem with both of these parallel views. First of all, if we truly believe and have pledged our lives to Jesus, we are His. And, with us being His, means that we understand He is in charge of our lives, no matter what happens. He doesn't then try and set up a faith and trust measurement for us, and by that meter decide to either "heal or protect." I think because people naturally want to be healed and protected, they somehow come up with this belief system to feel like they have some kind of control, and/or to explain why things happen.
    I really like and believe in the lyrics of one praise song. The chorus goes: "You give and take away, you give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your Name." Isn't this real trust, when no matter what happens, we continue to trust Him; to trust that He is All-Knowing and All-Wise and makes the best decisions with our life, even though we don't agree, understand or if it doesn't feel good to our flesh.
     What about Psalm 91 you might say? Well, you know when He says that terror will not come near your dwelling place? About 15 years ago, some terror did come near our my dwelling place or house.Without going into the frightening details (another blog post) I had a dilemma on my hands, or in my head I should say. So, I thought, if I'm the Lord's and this happened to me, does that mean I didn't have enough trust in Him, and so the protective covering was drawn so the enemy could come in? I was seeking Him about all of this, and wasn't hearing Him and wasn't understanding for a long time. Then after many years He showed me that "my dwelling place" is where He is deep in my spirit man. And, no man and no thing can and will disturb that place. My body is a corruptible thing He tells me and this will pass away, but my spirit, the place that I dwell with Him is forever. He quickened my spiritual understanding, because of that physical event in my life. I then began to see clearer with my spiritual eyes concerning many truths in His Word.
     It is quite tempting to gain understanding by our physical senses, as that is what we are used to using, and it naturally pleases our flesh. Another example is how many think of the words "to prosper." Many want riches in this life, and in American Christianity, which we have spreaad throughout the world unfortunately, is what is called a prosperity doctrine. This doctrine teaches that having lots of money is part of knowing Jesus and that God "wants you to be rich." Critics are labeled as having a "poverty mentally."
     But "to prosper" really means "to flourish." That word has images such as a live, verdant green plant which is new, fresh and productive. We are His field. We are the branch, connnected to the Vine who brings new life in us, producing fruit for His Kingdom. I think you may be getting the point.
     All these physical perspectives of having faith, having trust, and of  prospering takes on a whole new meaning in the Kingdom of God when viewed through spiritual eyes and heard with spritual ears. And if received as they are truly meant, clears up alot of confusioin and contradiction and division. Physical or spiritual? One leds to self-exaltation and the other to exalting our King and His Kingdom.
    

Nameless, Faceless Generation

     My husband and I took our tour through charismatic Christianity in years past, and saw many disturbing things developing. Don't get me wrong. I believe in the gifts of the Spirit operating today, but I don't think, for the most part, how they operate here in America is God's way. Without humility, His gifts become a display of power attributed to the individual who is using those gifts. This, in turn, becomes a favorite showman type situation with big names and faces being the norm of the day.
     We got out of those circles, as "man-worship" was sickening us, because it was  blocking out Jesus Christ. I believe it's possible for someone to have a certain gift, and use that gift by the flesh. I've smelled "strange fire" in those circles, and it was repelling. So we left.
     Many of these same people were preaching about "a nameless and faceless generation" and yet at the same time seemed to want a name and a face. There is always a "man (or woman) of the hour" whether it be a "preacher" or a "singer" that people run after. I always why, when other people seem to exalt them, they don't say with Paul, "We are mere men. Worship God."
     It is my belief that unless our flesh is subdued, by us letting God bear His cross to our souls, that all that He gives us will become tainted, and perverted and not be used to His glory; "crossless Christianty" it has been termed.
     This is a very serious issue, not only because it displays Christianity as a side-show, but more importantly, it makes each individual walk in the flesh, and not be developed in the spirit, and so "man" then is exalted, while God is pushed to the background.
     Dear brothers and sisters, unless we understand that "we must decrease, while He increases" and be willing to go through the dying process so that can happen, everything in us will still remain as filthy rags, and His manifest righteousness will not be seen. He wants His light to shine through our vessels; not our own. Any and all attention or claim to fame according to our flesh, is dead works, even though it may appear to be wonderful, great and "anointed."
     I realize the pull of the flesh "to be somebody" and to "be seen." I've shared that I have struggled with that myself, and it is a normal struggling between the flesh and the spirit with born-again believers.But, thank God, everytime I have launched out to accomplish something in my flesh, (even though I have thought it was of God) He's let me fail, and then with that has shown me that it was just me wanting that recognition again. I am finally listening, and am gaining peace with Him putting me where He wants, and giving me assignments that are many times hidden. With that place He has brought me, He's reminded me that "whatever you do, do it with all your might." I am vigorously accepting the gift of writing and insight He 's  given me, and am trying to be faithful to write a post for my blog everyday, even though no one really knows who I am, or what I look like who reads it. I've come to realize that in this way, He can be glorified, as my name and face do not matter. I trust that He is anointing these words and insights to you the reader's heart, whether you are from America, the Ukraine or Indonesia. Only God can do that!
    So, the main thing here, as far as using gifts He's placed in us is to yield to the work He wants to do in you. Some of  you may ask, "how do I do that?" Just tell Him. He is there, He is waiting for you to trust Him in this, and He will respond, and it will bless His heart. But, I warn you, it is one of the hardest paths to go down, with your flesh fighting every step of the way, and there will be pain and there will be heartache, but remember you will not suffer so much as to shed blood, as He did. And, the outcome will be that He will be glorified as a result. Do we want comfort and ease in this life, or do we want it to be lived for His glory no matter the cost to our flesh man? If we don't die to ourself, the gifts He gives us will be high-jacked by the devil through our fleshly lusts and desires, and will bring dishonor and shame to His name, even tearing down His Kingdom. A serious matter, indeed.

Jezebel or Ahab?

     I'd like to look at two seperate unclean spirits, neither of which is productive in the Kingdom of God; in fact, they are destructive. The first is the spirit of Jezebel; the second, the spirit of Ahab. Since both are spirits, neither one is male of female.
     I'd also like to suggest that these spirits can describe most people's mode of operation through their carnal natures as either aggressive or passive. These modern terms seem to sanitize the real danger in each one.
     Let's look at the spirit of Jezebel first. This spirit is one of coersion, manipulation, and intimidation. It "lords it over" others, something Jesus said that we, in the Kingdom should not do. It sets up one over another, creating a hierarchy of people, where one is superior to another. God says to not think more highly of yourself than you ought to, and that humility is what He is looking for or a broken and contrite heart. Because this spirit is "above" others, it is not submitted unto God. It, therefore, is controlled by it's own nature, and opened to the devil's reign. And that is what makes it unclean. It causes all kinds of havoc, and destruction, as it suppresses others' wills to it's own; especially the weak-willed Ahab spirit it sniffs out.
     Many people can't see how destructive the Ahab spirit is because it is usually silent and passive. It can present itself as false humility. It is not submitted to God either, as it cares more about what others think of them, than what God thinks, and so it changes colors to try and please people in different situations. Digging deeper it is really submitted to it's own will, as is Jezebel, because it protects itself at all costs. Appearing compliant and submissive, it's self-love brings about it's own destruction.
     Most of us can identify with one or even both of these ways. The good news is that if we want to get out of these destructive ways, God can and will change us to be effective and productive citizens of His Kingdom. For many of us, it is a hard and long process, as we've gotten used to, and even have justified our behaviors. "Well, if he hadn't have done that, than I wouldn't have done that," we tell ourselves. Many times we have been led to believe "that's just my personality," when in fact, it's just
letting our sin nature control us, instead of submitting to God.
     God tells us that our spiritual act of worship is to give ourselves as living sacrifices daily. This means we must die to our own agenda, and do His instead, and this can come in many different forms. We can't worship Him if we are being led by our sin nature, for Jezebel and Ahab are knocking at the door. Well, Jezebel doesn't knock; she just comes in, and Ahab comes and offers you a false place of peace and rest.
     So, there is no protection in ourselves; only under the shadow of God's wing in full submission to Him. Many times we've rebelled thinking that to follow God has been a threatening thing, when in reality it is a protective thing.
     Lord, once again, we come. Help us surrender in trust to You. Cleanse us from our Jezebel and Ahab ways. We want to be putty in Your hands, being used by You for Your purposes. Help us to let go, knowing that if we don't we open ourselves up to unclean spirits that are sent to disrupt and destroy Your Kingdom. Lord, we want to be a blessing and a builder in Your Kingdom, not a destroyer. Help us see our wicked ways, so that we can repent and bring them to You to be thrown in the fire and burned. We love you, Lord, and we are blessed that You've chosen us. Amen.

Divine Appointments

     Last night I was watching a movie, trying to put myself to sleep, when I heard a "bling, bling" noise on my phone indicating I had a text message. When I opened it, I saw a picture of 3 beautiful black women. Realizing that someone had sent me a picture intended for someone else, I quickly texted them back and told them so.
     She texted me back, telling me "thank you." I said, "God bless you and Jesus loves you." Then before I knew it we were texting back and forth about the Lord and the things of the Lord. She told me that He had recently saved and delivered her, that she had been hearing voices (oppressed by satan) and now she wasn't anymore!! Aw, sweet deliverance!  I shared with her how God had come and rescued our family many years ago when we were in the depths of sin, pain and heartache. It was great!
     Here we were 2 sisters in the Lord sharing Him and His love, power and grace. We were being the ecclesia of God, and we had never met. God had arranged that!
     Do we look for divine appointments in our lives? Is our antennae up, searching out situations when we can share His grace, truth and goodness in Word and/or in deed? We are vessels of the Holy Spirit to be used by Him to let Him flow through us, but we must be attuned to how, when and where He might choose to do that.
     There was a split second when I got that text where I had to decide whether or not to say,"Jesus loves you," to that newly saved, young woman. He prompted me to "go for it" and I did, and the results were amazing. I was able to share with her about staying connected to Him all the days of her life for guidance, hope and comfort by talking to Him everyday, and looking to Him in trust. I know that He will use that wisdom He gave me to impart for her growth.
     You never know how God will use you to proclaim His glorious love, light and truth through His Son, Jesus Christ. Now, that's the Abundant Life. Let His Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven, through His family; you and me.

P.S.-Right now she has a situation that is not God-pleasing going on in her life, and she needs to hear from the Holy Spirit how to handle it. For those of you so inclined, would you pray for Aisha as a new-born babe in Christ that the enemy would not have sway to take her back? He will try, as God's truth says that he (the enemy) comes immediately to snatch the seed. If she has an army of praying people, I believe it will avail much to protect her from falling back. Young ones in the Lord need extra care and protection from his ways. Also, pray for her growth in the Lord, that whoever He sends would teach her Truth from His heart. Thank you.
       

Stranger in a Strange Land

     I've had one strange day, so far. It's only 3:00pm now, so I can't claim it's been totally strange yet. Anyway, from the outside looking in, no one would label it as strange. I woke up, got my coffee, got on the computer, ate breakfast, put some clothes in the washer, read a short devotional, went to town to watch my grandson play soccer, mailed a package at the post office, went to a few garage sales, put some gas in my car, came home, got something to eat, and got back on the computer. So, as I said, that seems relatively normal and not strange.
     So, why do I call it that? I guess because I am strange and what goes on in my head and emotions is what I am basing my description on.
     Let me share about my emotional and mental viruses, I'll call them. For some unknown reason, I was especially sensitive when I woke up. My husband said something, and I got angry. I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but my stinger was out! It hit a nerve, and I don't know what nerve, or why. I carried around this anger for quite awhile, almost feeling justified in having it. I feel it was connected to the reality that God is working out of me those feelings of discontentment, fear, and self-will I have been blogging about, and the enemy is trying to "make me" hold onto them. So, the battle is on, and it's happening inside of me.
     I went to the Lord inquiring of Him as to what in the world is going on, and He led me to a devotional book so He could speak with me. It put everything in perspective and I knew I would be alright, but the feelings didn't go away yet. In fact, more feelings came when I got on Facebook. As a result, the Lord has asked me to not look at it anymore, as it stirs up things in me. One good thing that comes out of the feelings experienced is that I see some of what is still not surrendered in me.
     The general feelings included not being connected to anyone, losing the same closeness of  relationship I have had with people in my family in the past, being an outcast not "in sync" with the world around me, and just being downright lonely.  With that came a wondering if I have caused these feelings by my behavior, or if it's just a result of me following Jesus on a path that is getting less and less populated. If this is the reason, I am confident of where I'm at. If I am the one who has created these situations, I would be fearful. I would fear that I have wasted my life up until now, and have made the wrong decisions, and I wouldn't be able to do anything different, or even know how, or know what to do.
     This war that was going on inside me has left me subdued and forlorn. I don't know the answers , and I don't even know if I can get the answers, but accepting the reality is tough, too. My life is changing, and I don't seem to have any control over it. That feeling of helplessness is not pleasant. Like I said it is like a virus in that it seems to have to run it's course.
     Oh Lord, when I am in the foggy funk, help me. I trust you still. But I am blind at this moment. Help me go on, seeing by faith. I am not on the same page as so many of the people I see in this world, Christian and non-Christian alike. I see the abundant life as more than going to ballgames, buying stuff, getting pedicures, and even fun-family times. (although those are good) Whenever I am shining your light or reaching out to others in your Name, or doing something I know is advancing your Kingdom, I experience that abundant Life. I experience you flowing through me. Keep me on the path you are taking me on, no matter what the outcome. I long to be and stay Yours in this world, even if  others in my life choose to go another way. I know this will probably mean experiencing more of these feelings and having more strange days until You get me to the other side. And I pray that You will , and I know that You will.

"All these people (those who live by faith) were still living by faith when they died. (Sometimes we have to die in faith believing in what we are hoping for) They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, (Egypt?) they would have had opportunity to return. (Oh, let's hope not; there is bondage there.) Instead, they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one. (Oh, yea-not more tears, pain, etc.) Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, (Halleluia) for he has prepared a city for them."(Can't wait for His Kingdom to be manifest in it's fullness.)
Heb. 11: 13-16.
    

The Precious Will of God

     I had stated in a previous post that I was "apolitical" meaning that I didn't identify myself with a political party because of the effect that would have in others' eyes, which may interfer with my sharing the Gospel with them. Sort of like, "being all things to all people, that I might save some."
    Last night, however, I did watch the VP political debate, because my husband is very political and likes that kind of thing, so I went with him to his sister's house to watch it with him. I must say I was very tempted to go to a movie by myself, and then just meet him back at the house after the debate. But, God wouldn't let me. Well, I say that, but really it was that God showed me His will, and then let me decide. So, I acquiesced and went with him. I remember many years ago before my husband was saved, and I was so concerned about him watching so much TV. He'd come in at night, eat, turn on the TV, and go to bed. This daily ritual seemed to be our destiny!!
     At one point in time, I called it a "dying room" instead of a living room, because, as I looked at my family, I saw their souls dying as they stared at that mesmerizing idol. Their eyes would be fixed, their minds engaged fully, and their reactions were dulled like they were on drugs or something. Actually, because of all the turmoil which was going on in the family, much of which was due to what I had sown, they needed some pain relief, because, at the time, they didn't have the Lord to go to.
     Anyway, during this time when my husband was so indwelt in TV watching, the Lord spoke to me. He said, "Sit down and watch it with him." Just that simple. So, I began to do that, and before long, as I remember it, God began to take control. He spoke to me yesterday in the same way, and said, "Just go with him and watch the debate."
     I think God is creating a "oneness" in us, a prayer I've put before Him for many years now. And, I think I am being guided by His Hand to not be doing "my own thing" so much, so that He can create that oneness I've asked for, and that I know He wants too.
    So, it wasn't about me seeing the debate or not that mattered, but what God is accomplishing when we follow His will. I am seeing that my cooperation in these daily decisions, is what God wants and is what God works in us to create and accomplishes His plan, and the vision He has for our lives. It makes me very happy and at rest to know He has used that one simple action for His glory.
     Yesterday, I wondered "who even knows I exist?" Today He is reminding me that He knows I exist, and He watches, as does all the company of Heaven. Is is going too far to think that whenever we choose His will over our own, that the angels cry out "Holy, Holy, Holy" as they know that when we do, His will comes down "on earth as it is in Heaven"? Ah, the precious Will of God!!

Can't Touch That!

     I heard a statement on a movie the other day, which I had a reaction to, and I think it was because it was "as if" the Lord was speaking to me. The statement was,"You want something(s) you can't have." I do often find myself wanting what the Lord has not given me or be somewhere He hasn't placed me, or even be doing something in the Kingdom that He hasn't assigned me to. At the same time, however, He is teaching me to be content with His Sovereign decisions for my life, and this has only come about with the grace He's given me to trust Him more.
     Within the hour, I had the thought that I was feeling at home in my geographical location. Don't offer too much congratulations, as I've lived here for 30 years now. Not being raised in the country, and feeling the isolation, tempts me to feel as if I am missing out. I mean, who in the world, even knows I exist? (It's kind of like a blog. I make blog posts, but I never even knew anyone was reading them until I discovered the "stats" setting. And, that did encourage me to keep on blogging.)
     But what of living in the country? Hello, anyone out there? That is a thought I've had when walking to the mailbox, looking at the expanse of pastures before me with no visible population to be seen. So, with all these thoughts/feelings that I've had about living out here, it's no wonder I have wondered if God put me in the right place. "Does anyone really know what time it is? Does anyone really care?" (Oh, sorry. An old song from Chicago has surfaced)  And then there is the Great Commission haunting me-"Go INTO ALL THE WORLD," and I'm out here watching the cows chew their cud. Do cows need saving? Do dogs go to heaven? Never mind.
     But this is how it goes: As I said I was just getting accepting of living in the country, when I get on Facebook (I piggy-back on my sister's page) and read about my son and his wife going to the ER and praying for people, which is lovely. They used to live beside us in the country, but moved to town 2 years ago. (They took my grandkids with them, too. Can you belive?) Anyway, they are doing that, and have been for several months, and when he describes the awesomeness of God when they go, I get jealous. Yes, you are probably saying, "well go with them," but the Life vision* the Lord has given me lately (3 days ago) won't let me. It is a wonderful vision, an exciting vision and one in which most of my resources are to be centered out here in the country. But I want to go pray with them, like we used to. (Sad face; sad, pouting face)
     I realize now that I am a slightly spoiled child of God's. I don't want to give Him a hard time, but I just want my way is all. He's done so much work in me to get that out of me, or burn it or whatever He does with it (actually I think He put it to death on the cross, but I keep letting the enemy resurrect it in me) but there still seems to be some vestages of self-will left that keep springing up. 
     But, I'm over it now. He is moving me back to my former mindset (hey, that was fast.), and only by His help will I STAY THERE.  Help me, O Lord, stand my ground when the enemy brings something to my attention that makes me want to want what I can't have, and help me accept it, knowing I've been bought with the price of your death for me, and You really do know what you are doing with my life. Help me embrace the vision  you gave me, and trust You to carry it out, as me and my husband cooperate with Your blessed will. Feed Bread through us, for Your glory. Amen.

*-This vision has been forming forever; really, since the foundaion of the world. He has placed it before us piece by piece, and now it is beginning to form a clear picture. It was spoken to us in a coded "word of knowledge" several years ago, and re-emphasized through prophecy. Wow-I'm blown away when I think of all the Lord has spoken to us over the years that I think I will write everything He's said down. That way, when the enemy comes and tells me we are missing out, or tries to point out all the hindrances that I can't understand about the possibility of the vision coming to pass, I can read these Divine signposts and smile in peace, and hopeful expectation. As I am typing this, it's as if my whole life is now making sense, and I am blown away!!!!!!!!!!

Spankings, Time-out or the Holy Spirit?

     Have you discovered what a tremendous help the "Helper" is? I'm talking about the Holy Spirit; the Paraclete. I mean this spiritual being; this God of ours is very down to earth and practical. Really.He helps you find stuff, He helps you "hold your tongue", and He even helps you raise your children.
     That is if you ask Him to. Often we go about our day like air-heads, whistling while we work, until some great need appears and then we panic! All the while God is with/in/around us by His Holy Spirit, waiting to be entreated. "Ask of me" He is saying. He wants to be our guide, or teacher and even our preacher bringing to mind His truths set out in His Word. I know He's dropped quickening Scripture into me before, and you know what? It was truly a word for the hour; one in which either showed me the way or set me free or both. Cuz He's God, and cuz He knows me, and knows just what I need and when and how and why........
     So, I'd like to talk about how He helps us with the raising of our children. I'll use me as an object lesson of what not to do. First of all, don't be unsaved before either marriage or children. (Well, how did I know? I thought you were a Christian if you went to church, and I did that!) That was the state I was in, and it proved to be traumatic for all concerned.
     Here I was married at age 19, with 3 children by age 24. Do the math. First child-1973. Second child-1974. Third child-1975. Young girl, baby of the family of origin at that, and at home with 3 babies. Help!!!! Add to that I didn't know the Lord then, and so all I had was "me" and my vain philosophies to try and shape my children into half-way decent human beings. Hey, I wasn't half-way decent myself, so what did I model to them?
     The point is seriously this: If you know the Lord, He will help guide you in raising your children. He wants to raise them by His Spirit, and He wants you to let His Spirit flow through you to them, so they can be touched by His Spirit. In each and every situation you find yourself faltering in, and with each and every unique child He gives to you, He has an answer. He may not give it to you right then, and in the way you want it, but He just loves it when you ask. Be assured He will deliver in you asking for His help. Sometimes it takes years to develop a listening ear to Him, but if your heart's desire is to seek His will, and you aren't able to hear Him clearly, He will fill in the gaps where you fail. Love does indeed cover a multitude of sins.
      Oh, I wish I knew then what I know now. It's alright. What the devil meant for evil........ but God came to the rescue and saved all my family and they are enjoying knowing Him day by day, and raising their own children up in Him, which is the next best thing. Atleast the generations that were headed for the ditch (us) are now turned around and going in the other direction. It is comforting to know that when I am gone, my grandchildren will have Him to approach in the raising of their children, establishing a legacy of living for Him. 
     Try it, you might like it. It is amazing how He comes sometimes and shows us the way. And He comes in so many ways. No more need for Super Nanny to come in and invade your home. He is already resident if you are His, teaching you strategies, and wisdom and developing His fruits in you so that you can be the parent you've always wanted to be. For His praise and for His glory, and for the love of you, and your children.

Jesus-Hope of the Nations

     Checking my stats on what countries have viewed the blog, and I saw Malaysia for the first time, and I am excited.
     I am a nation's person. I think Jesus is too, as in "go into all the nations," and "ask of me and I will give you the nations." I love the different types of people God created. Sometimes when I'm out shopping, I take special notice of the many ethnic groups in America and I am happy that our country has opened their arms up to them. I want to talk with them, and ask them where they are from, and what brought them here and what they think of living here. I do sometimes. I hope that they feel accepted, and haven't experienced rejection and prejudice, but I fear some have.
     Did you ever stop to think that God ordained the many different groups of people to move to our country so that we could share the Gospel with them? Could it be that He is trying to tell us something, and all we can do is complain because we feel they are trying to "take over"; that they are "trampling on our rights"? Maybe it goes deeper than that. Maybe "all the world" is coming to us. Let's not be given the blessing of salvation in Jesus Christ, and judge things from an earthly and selfish perspective, and miss the Kingdom.
     Hello, Maylasia. I hope you come back. I have a souvenir from your country. A young Christian woman I know went there a few years ago, and because my husband and I helped sponsor her, she brought me something back, along with some currency. I have them both in my cabinet in my bedroom.
     God bless you, and I know your Savior. Do you?  You are loved deeply by Him.

And a big ringy-dingy for Thailand!!!  I know 2 missionary families' there, and my son has been there to help with their work 2 times. Shine, Jesus, Shine fill this land with the Father's glory! Amen.

Jehovah Shalom; My Perfect Peace

   Impatience + Self-will + Fear + Anger = Disaster: that was the formula operating in me last night, albeit unknowingly. Talk about an explosion in the lab! And my soul and the soul of my husband took the hit, and our relationship was damaged.
     But hindsight is 20/20 for sure! When in the middle of schrapnel flying, one can't discern what happened. It's not that I was hollering and screaming; it's just that I was seething mad and wanted to, and so my soul (mind, will and emotions) was stirred and "in control." Not good. There was a lot of lecturing going on, and plausible sounding arguments on my side. I even imagined myself picking up the lamp, which was close by to my chair, and flinging it as hard as I could on the opposite wall, not even caring if it broke and shattered into a thousand pieces. In fact, I was thinking it would feel good.
     I'm not bragging here; just confessing. And that is easy to do on the computer when all I have to do is write it, and push the "publish" button. Especially since I don't even know who reads my blog.
     Back to the hindsight: This morning I woke up, with my senses more intuned and able to discern just what did happen. I traced it back to thoughts and feelings I was having yesterday afternoon, concerning the direction I sensed the Lord was leading my husband and me. He put something in my path that spoke to me about that. He gave me a general idea how he was going to use us, and how that would lead to something more specific, which He revealed to me. The general idea would come about out of our continued growth in Him, and the specific one would too, but it would be more obvious.
     Well, since I knew the plan, it was time to put it in operation, right? This was where impatience and self-will collided. I was so excited about what the Lord had shown me that I got involved, and the disaster followed.
    Without going into the horrific details, suffice it to say that I "took control" in trying to make my husband "take control." You see, I figured that if this thing was to truly happen the right way with the man in charge, he needed to step up to the plate. I approached him with all my reasoning abilities to "help" him see things in the right perspective. Since he didn't even know where I was coming from (trying to bring about the vision God had shown me) he didn't respond with as much enthusiasm as I wanted him, too. That is when I got into fear. (Uh-oh-another bad chemical in the mix.) Within a few minutes, I was in full-blown strife! Mama-mia!! Enter satan. Now, he instead of me, and certainly not God's Spirit was in control. And you know what a mess he makes in the lab!!! He's the evil, dastardly scientist.
     So, here we were in the grip of our enemy, because I had played the part of "Sarah" instead of the daughter of Sarah, who I've prayed for most of my born-again life to be. You see Sarah took control, like I had, but God's Word says in the New Testament, that I am a daughter of Sarah in my marriage if I don't give way to fear. And my husband reminds me that in the same passage it says that she calls her husband "Lord." Of course, the implications of that become quit clear in  light of what happened last night. If I had trusted God first, and then watched Him work his vision out through my husband, things would have been fine. But no, the old Sarah in me had to try and work things out, and quick too, because like her, my time on earth is running out. I was 60 years old this year and my husband is 67, and doesn't God know that if He's going to use us, He's got to act soon? Oh, wretched woman that I am!
     Yes, but Jesus Christ is able to save. He saves us from permanent damage to our relationship, even if there is an explosion in our souls. He saves us from ourselves, and that is the biggest rescue! And He saves us for Himself. Thank God.
     So, how am I going to prevent this from happening in the future? Well, it does help to learn from my mistakes. Now that I know the formula for disaster, I can run to Him when I feel these things coming on. He's the only One who can help me by holding me in His arms at those times.(Or by hog-tying me or gagging me-whatever works, right?)
     I'm comforted in hearing Him speak to my spirit the same words He spoke to Peter one time, and He's saying to me: "Satan would sift you as wheat, Patti, but I'm praying for you." That is the only reason that I am able to get out of bed this morning at all, when I had planned in my mind while laying in bed last night, to stay there the rest of my life and wallow in my anger, depression and shame!!!
     Now, that's a miracle. I was dead in my sins, but now I'm alive, because of His blessed forgiveness and life-giving power! He brings the dead to Life, time after time after time. And the explosion is forgotten; and the storm is calmed; and His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness!
    
    
    

Come and Dine!

     Lately I have just been devouring the Word of God, and it is tasting very sumptious! It's like I can't get enough of it, and I can almost feel it nourishing me as I eat. I don't know when the last time was that I felt this way, if ever.  It's like I can't wait until I read it again, because I know that it is going to fill me. I know it's not me, but what He's done in me that is making my receptors respond in this way. Wow! The power of God in us is something that cannot be explained. I am so encouraged in this walk with Him. I have been through many, many thrills, chills and valleys, and in perserverance in continuing to look to Him, He has brought me in, through and out the other side for the better. I couldn't do that myself. It's supernatural! My only part has been to "keep the faith, baby!"(as my Dad used to say) With our faith in Him, His will happens in us and in our life!! Keep on truckin' fellow travelers! The ride is wild, and sometimes frightening, but the result is always exhilarating and fulfilling, if we "faint not." God will finish in you what He started. And when tempted to quit, let's join with Peter in saying, "Lord, to who will we go? You have the Words to eternal life!!!" Amen, Bro. P., couldn't have said it better myself. I think I'll go and eat some dessert. The Book of Acts, anyone?

Playing the Game

    I've never been a player, or should I say I have done my best to avoid doing that. What I mean by "playing the game" is when a person acts, says or does something in order to sway people or circumstances to their own advantage. Some would just call that "wisdom" or taking advantage of ones' opportunities, and that is fine in itself, if it stops there. But, taking the next step of manipulating other people's will, is truly witchcraft.
     Many Christian ministries, could perhaps be guilty of this if  they've fleeced the poor, or seduced the rich, perhaps justifying it in the name of "advancing the Kingdom."
     Take selling the goats and sheep for sale, many years ago, when animal sacrifice was required by God. Remember the turning over the tables scene by Jesus? I suppose the rich merchants jacked the price up, and took advantage of the poor in doing so. Jesus was appalled at this. I am assuming that He would rather them give the sheep away then charge them anything at all!!!  
     Fast forward to today: Christian ministries using marketing techniques, which are grounded in nothing but worldly values, based on the bottom line.  Yes, ministries do need money to operate, but where does trusting the Lord leave off, and these "techniques" take over?
    I'm more drawn to Reese Howell and George Muellers' way of faith and prayer of believing God for their provisions than I am with ministries today.
     I never did like sales anyway. Even when approached by well-meaning friends, trying to make money through pyramid-type Christian businesses, and told I would be soooo good at selling their items, I felt funny in my stomach. Could it be that a spirit of manipulation and/or "using  me"was in play here? I don't know. It's something about mixing God and money for personal gain that makes me ill. There is such a fine line, there.
    Well, what about if it's for other people's good, such as a ministry who gives the money that is collected to the poor? My belief is that if someone, who is the head of a ministry and whose heart is right, that God will supply, as He sees fit- in His way, and in His time. And, if they are in a lifestyle of seeking God for direction and guidance, that He will show them the what and the how, and then they can be assured to remain in His will as they go forward.
     God sees the heart of man in the asking for money, whether it be in the "church system" or in a Christian ministry. Keeping pure is almost impossible if one employs worldly methods in this area. The temptation of manipulation in doing so is crossed, many times before the man, himself,  knows it. Rather to pray and trust God to "open doors" and wait, than to take matters into one's own hands and build according to our flesh, and it be a case of  trying to bring about the promises of God ourself!
     So,  don't save me a place at the table! I'll sit this one out! I don't want to play! I don't know that I'm pure enough to not cross that line, or even if I'm supposed to play at all. Until I can see clearly, I'll wait and pray. (Thoughts from me, stemming from trying to sort out something in my life concerning being a part of supporting someone who is called of God on a certain mission in this life. Writing it out helps me do that. In the process, I hope God has used it to help someone else who may read this, sort things out in the same or similar situation, or just to sort things out in general, concerning the will of God in these areas.)


Quote concerning George Mueller:
"He had prayed in millions of dollars (in today's currency) for the Orphans and never asked anyone directly for money. He never took a salary in the last 68 years of his ministry, but trusted God to put in people's hearts to send him what he needed. He never took out a loan or went into debt. And neither he nor the orphans were ever hungry."
    
Quote concerning Reese Howell:

"They were commissioned to build and sustain the largest Bible College in Wales by prayer and faith alone. At that time, the founders had only two shillings, (ten UK pence/ fifteen US cents)."