Can't Touch That!
I heard a statement on a movie the other day, which I had a reaction to, and I think it was because it was "as if" the Lord was speaking to me. The statement was,"You want something(s) you can't have." I do often find myself wanting what the Lord has not given me or be somewhere He hasn't placed me, or even be doing something in the Kingdom that He hasn't assigned me to. At the same time, however, He is teaching me to be content with His Sovereign decisions for my life, and this has only come about with the grace He's given me to trust Him more.
Within the hour, I had the thought that I was feeling at home in my geographical location. Don't offer too much congratulations, as I've lived here for 30 years now. Not being raised in the country, and feeling the isolation, tempts me to feel as if I am missing out. I mean, who in the world, even knows I exist? (It's kind of like a blog. I make blog posts, but I never even knew anyone was reading them until I discovered the "stats" setting. And, that did encourage me to keep on blogging.)
But what of living in the country? Hello, anyone out there? That is a thought I've had when walking to the mailbox, looking at the expanse of pastures before me with no visible population to be seen. So, with all these thoughts/feelings that I've had about living out here, it's no wonder I have wondered if God put me in the right place. "Does anyone really know what time it is? Does anyone really care?" (Oh, sorry. An old song from Chicago has surfaced) And then there is the Great Commission haunting me-"Go INTO ALL THE WORLD," and I'm out here watching the cows chew their cud. Do cows need saving? Do dogs go to heaven? Never mind.
But this is how it goes: As I said I was just getting accepting of living in the country, when I get on Facebook (I piggy-back on my sister's page) and read about my son and his wife going to the ER and praying for people, which is lovely. They used to live beside us in the country, but moved to town 2 years ago. (They took my grandkids with them, too. Can you belive?) Anyway, they are doing that, and have been for several months, and when he describes the awesomeness of God when they go, I get jealous. Yes, you are probably saying, "well go with them," but the Life vision* the Lord has given me lately (3 days ago) won't let me. It is a wonderful vision, an exciting vision and one in which most of my resources are to be centered out here in the country. But I want to go pray with them, like we used to. (Sad face; sad, pouting face)
I realize now that I am a slightly spoiled child of God's. I don't want to give Him a hard time, but I just want my way is all. He's done so much work in me to get that out of me, or burn it or whatever He does with it (actually I think He put it to death on the cross, but I keep letting the enemy resurrect it in me) but there still seems to be some vestages of self-will left that keep springing up.
But, I'm over it now. He is moving me back to my former mindset (hey, that was fast.), and only by His help will I STAY THERE. Help me, O Lord, stand my ground when the enemy brings something to my attention that makes me want to want what I can't have, and help me accept it, knowing I've been bought with the price of your death for me, and You really do know what you are doing with my life. Help me embrace the vision you gave me, and trust You to carry it out, as me and my husband cooperate with Your blessed will. Feed Bread through us, for Your glory. Amen.
*-This vision has been forming forever; really, since the foundaion of the world. He has placed it before us piece by piece, and now it is beginning to form a clear picture. It was spoken to us in a coded "word of knowledge" several years ago, and re-emphasized through prophecy. Wow-I'm blown away when I think of all the Lord has spoken to us over the years that I think I will write everything He's said down. That way, when the enemy comes and tells me we are missing out, or tries to point out all the hindrances that I can't understand about the possibility of the vision coming to pass, I can read these Divine signposts and smile in peace, and hopeful expectation. As I am typing this, it's as if my whole life is now making sense, and I am blown away!!!!!!!!!!
Within the hour, I had the thought that I was feeling at home in my geographical location. Don't offer too much congratulations, as I've lived here for 30 years now. Not being raised in the country, and feeling the isolation, tempts me to feel as if I am missing out. I mean, who in the world, even knows I exist? (It's kind of like a blog. I make blog posts, but I never even knew anyone was reading them until I discovered the "stats" setting. And, that did encourage me to keep on blogging.)
But what of living in the country? Hello, anyone out there? That is a thought I've had when walking to the mailbox, looking at the expanse of pastures before me with no visible population to be seen. So, with all these thoughts/feelings that I've had about living out here, it's no wonder I have wondered if God put me in the right place. "Does anyone really know what time it is? Does anyone really care?" (Oh, sorry. An old song from Chicago has surfaced) And then there is the Great Commission haunting me-"Go INTO ALL THE WORLD," and I'm out here watching the cows chew their cud. Do cows need saving? Do dogs go to heaven? Never mind.
But this is how it goes: As I said I was just getting accepting of living in the country, when I get on Facebook (I piggy-back on my sister's page) and read about my son and his wife going to the ER and praying for people, which is lovely. They used to live beside us in the country, but moved to town 2 years ago. (They took my grandkids with them, too. Can you belive?) Anyway, they are doing that, and have been for several months, and when he describes the awesomeness of God when they go, I get jealous. Yes, you are probably saying, "well go with them," but the Life vision* the Lord has given me lately (3 days ago) won't let me. It is a wonderful vision, an exciting vision and one in which most of my resources are to be centered out here in the country. But I want to go pray with them, like we used to. (Sad face; sad, pouting face)
I realize now that I am a slightly spoiled child of God's. I don't want to give Him a hard time, but I just want my way is all. He's done so much work in me to get that out of me, or burn it or whatever He does with it (actually I think He put it to death on the cross, but I keep letting the enemy resurrect it in me) but there still seems to be some vestages of self-will left that keep springing up.
But, I'm over it now. He is moving me back to my former mindset (hey, that was fast.), and only by His help will I STAY THERE. Help me, O Lord, stand my ground when the enemy brings something to my attention that makes me want to want what I can't have, and help me accept it, knowing I've been bought with the price of your death for me, and You really do know what you are doing with my life. Help me embrace the vision you gave me, and trust You to carry it out, as me and my husband cooperate with Your blessed will. Feed Bread through us, for Your glory. Amen.
*-This vision has been forming forever; really, since the foundaion of the world. He has placed it before us piece by piece, and now it is beginning to form a clear picture. It was spoken to us in a coded "word of knowledge" several years ago, and re-emphasized through prophecy. Wow-I'm blown away when I think of all the Lord has spoken to us over the years that I think I will write everything He's said down. That way, when the enemy comes and tells me we are missing out, or tries to point out all the hindrances that I can't understand about the possibility of the vision coming to pass, I can read these Divine signposts and smile in peace, and hopeful expectation. As I am typing this, it's as if my whole life is now making sense, and I am blown away!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Patti Blount @ 2:33 PM
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