The Burden of Responsibility

Three years ago, my husband and I went to India. While there, God spoke to me through a young Indian pastor, who the light of Christ shone through very clearly and whose love had been extended to us in a wonderful way.
One day we were on our way to a Pastor's conference, when I had to ask them to take me back to the hotel because my stomach was hurting. I felt guilty about this thinking that it would make us late and cause problems. As this young man got out to open the door for me, I said, "What responsibilities do you have at the Pastor's conference?" to which he replied with all the love in his eyes towards me, "My only responsibility is to take care of you." With this, I melted under the love of God's grace to me, as I knew it was Him saying that to me, assuring me that I was no trouble to Him, and in fact, He delighted to "be responsible" for me.
I guess I didn't fully receive "God's declaration of truth" to me that day, as I would continue (subconsciously) to be responsible for the "perfecting" of myself, as I thought (falsely) that I was supposed to do that. The "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" and "you better do it, if it's going to get done,"mentalities of the world , had left their impression on me even extending to my own spiritual development.
The other day I was mowing the grass, and God visited me, meaning He came and revealed Himself to me and exposed the false belief that I had been operating under. From the time He had spoken to me in India to this moment, he had let my failure to do His will (in 3 areas) escalate in me, in the form of allowing my conscious mind to "see" the failures, again and again, with the resulting guilt causing me much anguish, heartache, and grief. He, more/less said, "The fact that you have not been able to overcome in these areas and have felt guilty for it, shows that you have felt it was your responsibility to perfect yourself within yourself. I have let it cause you so much pain, that you would be opened to hearing that you can't do it, and be willing to admit that and give it to me. You have been believing that I have wanted you to do it yourself (overcome in these areas) and I have let you try and have used the guilt to finally overwhelm you, to bring you to the point you are now at. All you have tried, in your self-effort has been futile. It hasn't accomplished anything." I was stunned, but yet receiving, as He didn't come with guilt on me, but on revealing the truth, thereby destroying the lie that had been controlling me which said, on some level, that I was responsible in overcoming the "sins that so easily beset me." They weren't outward sins, but matters of the heart, which I knew were not of Him, and which no matter how many times I strengthened my resolve, I failed.
He then, to reiterate the point, did a kind of Jeremiah thing with me. There was a dead branch which had fallen off our big oak tree, and in my spirit He said, "What do you see, Patti?" I said, "a dead branch." He said, "This is the result of depending on your own self efforts. There is no fruit. " Again, another eye-opening realization, and one He used effectively in driving the point home.
In the depths of my soul, I felt appreciative of what He had come to show me, and greatly comforted and relieved that I could give my efforts to Him, and allow Him to take me as "his responsibility" as if I was the only one in the world. What love, what a treasure, and what big shoulders He has!!! Knowing too, it is His good pleasure to give me the Kingdom, and that He has already procured it for me and will do the work in me to get me there, is too wonderful for me to grasp. May my spirit embrace it!
"For He is at work in me both to will and to do of His good pleasure." I've always known this was the truth, but yet something in me (my self-will and desire for praise of men when I did overcome-ha!) had to die in order for me to really receive that He is the one who is building His house. I don't know how He works, really, but I do know He is an amazing builder, and even when we take the tools from His hands, He even uses that to work in us. Everywhere we go, He is there.
When He got me to a point of being able to "hear" the truth of what He wanted to say, dispelling the lie of what I had held onto up to then, the guilt left. If He is in me, and He is at work in me, and the "burden of responsibility" is on Him for me, than I don't have to worry anymore. I have confidence in Him that He will do it (perfect me) well, and for sure. He will finish what He has started in us, if we but trust by letting go of the responsibility that we are not only incapable of, but which isn't even ours in the first place.

The Wisdom of God-It's Massive!!!

The wisdom of God is so much more than what I had previously thought. The other day He gave me a little glimpse of some of what that wisdom is.

I was sitting out back on the rocking chair, looking up at the clouds because we had a chance of rain. It was getting pretty serious because it had been 5 weeks of dry weather, with many days reaching 100 + , which was abnormal in June. Oh, and we are farmers. My husband had done all he could do to help the crops get water, as he had been rigorously irrigating the corn, and the wild pigs were eating and destroying it. He would go there at night and try to catch them in the fields, so he could shoot or dissuade them. I am saying all this to say that the temperatures, both ways, were getting high, and it would seem that due to these extreme circumstances that God would give us a rain. As I sat there pondering all of this, the Lord opened the veil to His wisdom; His sovereign right to decide.

He showed me that He really does know best, and that whatever happened, rain or no rain, it would be right and good, according to His wisdom based on who He is. He is all-knowing and pure and good, and if we but can trust Him more and more, we, too will be at peace with what He decides in our lives.

He showed me, in my mind's eye, a possible example of why He might withold the rain, and it was this: If we got a good, soaking rain and it produced an increased yield which would produce more money (which is how it normally works), than we would go back to India. That is what my husband and I want to do, if the Lord provides the finances, which is usually through our crops. Anyway, He was showing me that, if the rain did come, and we went to India, we would be riding on a train there. We've been to India before, and train travel from one place to another is something we do. He then showed me that, in His foreknowledge, that if the train we would ride on would crash with us in it, that we perhaps would die. Maybe for that reason, He would withhold a rain from us; to save our lives. He was just putting that out there for me, and taking a scenario, which I thought I wanted (for it to rain) to try and show me a possible "why" He may not allow it to rain. He wasn't saying that would or would not happen.

I was so awestruck when He opened this up to me to see how short sighted our vision really is, and how massive and true His wisdom is. It is His perspective, and we can hold confidence in whatever happens, as His statutes and judgments are true, as David states in the Psalms. Even when we don't understand, and especially when we don't understand can we stand in faith believing in Him and in His provision or lack of it (as we usually see it)

He gave me a lesson that day, and it was a wonderful revelation. Not to say that I won't again use my carnal understanding, but I earnestly want to grow into trusting His wisdom for my life, and even begin to see things from His perspective, if He will impart that to me. I can be sure that He can, as He says to ask from Him for wisdom, and He will give it to me liberally. So, the next time, I just don't understand it all, I can rest assured that He does, and He knows what He is doing, and whatever it is, can be trusted.

"Come up here", He says. The view is great! I climb Jacob's ladder, by His grace, to see as He sees. Come and go with me Body of Christ.

The Spirit of Demas

The great falling away is currently in progress on undiscernable levels except to those who have "eyes to see, and ears to hear." Our spiritual senses are kept sharp by not compromising with the world, and hence, it's prince.

The spirit of Demas, presenting himself as an "angel of light" has infected the Body of Christ. His ability to do this is due to the fact that many, who called themselves the Lord's, really have loved this present world more than Him, and, as a result, have embraced this lust-filled spirit rather than cast him out.

They have retained Christ's name, even being deceived themselves of their identity. That's what their prince does; he provides a false covering, blinding their eyes and shutting their ears, and with this vulnerability comes his doctrines to further deceive and to justify their lusts, to which he holds them captive.

If any discernment remains, it would be by the grace of God's supply, in which a person could come out of this darkness by confessing their idolatry of loving the world more than God. Then God would open eyes and ears to show them clearly what is of the world and what is of Him. There is a stark and contrasting difference.

1) a "falling away"-2 Th. 2:3

2) "Demas" 2Tim. 4:10

3) "Love not the world"-1 Jn. 2:15-17

4) "Doctrines of demon"-1 Tim. 4:1

I'm Going For It; My Dad is Backing Me Up!!!

As I was making my bed the other day, I became very unsettled, as the words "hard and austere master," dropped in my spirit. I, of course, recognized this verbage as from the KJ version of the Bible from the Parable of the Talents. I knew the Lord was directing me to look it up, as He wanted to enlighten me about something in it.
This description, "a hard and austere man" was given by the man in reference to the master, with the 1 talent (man #3) when the master had come to get from him the increase of that one talent he had given him. Only thing was is that the man did not have an increase because he knew that the master was a "hard and austere man," so he hid the talent, apparently thinking he had done the right thing by doing so which proved not to be the case.
The Lord was trying to show me something personally, but I also think that it might apply to many in His Body. What He revealed to me was this: The man with the 1 talent only perceived that his master was hard and austere. We know that God is not that, for He is long-suffering and full of mercy. (By the way, "austere" means harsh and without much mercy) Under many layers, I too had looked at God that way. I have tried to get everything lined up perfectly with the Scriptures (His will) before I would step out and use what the Lord had put inside of me. In effect, I was hiding my light under a basket by not using or giving to His Body (and Him through that), and as a result, my flame was beginning to go out. Of course, the enemy, took advantage of my spiritual perfectionism, and would routinely, throw out a seeming contradictory "word of God" to me, whenever I entertained using whatever He had put in me, and watch me shrink back to keep me at bay, all the while thinking I was honoring the Lord. Just like the man with the talent, I was afraid that I would do it wrong, (according to God's word, of course) and became paralyzed everywhere I turned. The enemy again took advantage of my fear to further cement my inactivity in sharing what God put in me to benefit His Body.
If you are reacting similarly, the Body is suffering because of your withdrawing whatever God has put in you to benefit others. We all need each other's gifts, and no ones's gifts are any better or more significant than the others, because they are all from God.
I believe God honors us stepping out period. In that way, we are trusting Him for the outcome of Him adding His blessing to it, and it really doesn't have to do with us at all, except for the fact that He asks us to make the investment. And, I believe, when we do that, we too are blessed, as it just feels right and good. Could these be the good works that He has for us to do, established before the foundation of the world: sharing and giving those things He's put in us for the benefit of His Body and the world?
Since then, I have begun to do that. I can't say it's been easy because I've been so used to hiding, but when I do, it really is fulfilling and satisfying. I know that God is blessed also, as I am cooperating with His plans and purposes when I do. And, when the enemy comes and tries to dissuade me through myself or others, I just ignore him. Even if he brings up a verse from Scripture, I am resolved in the fact that I don't understand everything, and that God is a kind a merciful Father, and that He is just happy that I am agreeing to step out there in faith believing in His goodness and that He will make up in the areas that I'm lacking in.
Let's put it this way , "I knew you were a loving and gracious Father, so I felt free to try and knew that You would love and accept me, even if I did mess up." Amen.