Great and Unsearchable Things

Things the Lord gives me, and then I write them.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

You are Free!!!

     "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" God's word says. Is it also true that the Spirit of the Lord can be present if there is freedom? I have discovered that as the Spirit "takes dominion" in me, I experience freedom in who I am and to be that without apology. I am talking about who God created me to be (my unique characteristics) and not my flesh being unrestrained.
     What am I getting at? I was thinking back on the environment that was mine, as I grew up. As I watched the movie "Heidi" last night, I saw my Dad in the grouchy, old grandfather. I then wondered, "what was Dad mad at alot of the time?" He was critical, blaming, and negative. This environment affected me, a tender young child. Overtime, it seemed like I became passive and tried to follow the commands he gave. I became a rule-oriented person. I didn't even know I could be me, or dared not try because it might violate the rules, and I would get in trouble. So, subconsciously, I tip-toed lightly in my own home, not even knowing who I was. My real self went underground before it was even allowed to surface. There was no freedom, and so I didn't feel God's presence. It was hollow, lonely and lifeless on the inside of me.
     An unanswered question remains: Why did I respond that way to my Dad, while my Mom seemed happy and care-free? Why didn't I "ignore" him and gravitate towards her and her way of looking at things? You see, whatever was troubling Dad, I became like him in many ways. Maybe it was just our personalities, as my sister has said. I am a melancholy, which is a serious minded, deep thinker. Or am I? Would I have been more free and outward if my environment had been one I could flourish in? If there had been freedom to grow and learn and be?
     I have a theory: If a child's unbringing is one of love, freedom (allowed to make age-appropriate decisions) and grace (not condemned or shamed when they fail, but encouraged to do better the next time) then they become more fully themselves. They develop in the time frame He intends, instead of "pulling up the rear" in becoming themselves. I am saying that for myself and I'm sure many others, who are presently (whatever age) just now doing that.
     The beautiful thing about it is, that when we become His, He puts His Holy Spirit within us, and then, due to His cleansing power and the renewing of our minds, we taste of that freedom and grow into ourselves, who overtime, we begin to feel comfortable with. Without pride, we even enjoy ourselves, and others as we relate to them. We begin to experience abundant life in Him!
     Again, God offers us a second chance. Whatever was lacking in our upbringing, He provides for us when we become His and grow in His grace, love and freedom!!! I've heard the expression, "He reverses the curse," which would seem to apply here.
      Some need more than others, because a few people did get that grace-filled environment to grow in, and that core of who they truly are was allowed to develop, and they still have that, never to be destroyed, in adulthood. That is the case with my sister-in-laws, who I took the trip with, and we talked about that. I used to be jealous of them for the stability they have, but now I allow God to use the example for me to learn what being stable looks like.
     God is putting me back together again, like Humpty Dumpty, even though all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't. (Anything other than Him.) I am coming into my own, and it feels good and right. Instead of holding back because of fear of punishment, I am trusting in His unconditional acceptance of me, and relying on His grace for me if I mess up. Gradually, change is happening; change for the good. And if you are His, He promises the same for you. He will make all things new, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. You will be free of the control of sin over you, and free to be you as He conforms you to His image. You will become "His Impression, Your Expression."



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