Fire of God-More, Lord!!!

     Have you ever had the experience where you thought something meant one thing, and then it turns out it means another? About 10 years ago, my husband and I attended my son's graduation from Fire School of Ministry in Pensacola, Florida. It was an exciting time, spiritually for all of us because a few years before all our children had been dramatically saved by the Lord, and we were flying high.
    Anyway, one night when we were visiting him, we attended a service at the church he was going to. Everyone was in high gear in the Spirit, and great expectation was in the air! Worship songs were sung with abandon to the Lord. During this time, I asked a student who seemed to be "on fire" to pray that I would receive that same fire of God! He did, and I never forgot it. Over the years, I would think about it, and wonder why it wasn't happening. Or was it?
     I had in my mind that the "fire" I would receive was the kind those had in the upper room on that day of Pentecost; the kind that demonstrated signs and wonders to the world; that kind that made people wake up and notice. Maybe that was the problem. I wanted to be noticed, and God wanted me humble.
    And so, in the fire I went-The Fire of His Baptism! And I've been there ever since. He's been stoking me and stoking me to burn up that pride that I wanted to operate in. He just showed me the other day, that He was not slack concerning His promise; that He had answered the prayer. It was just that it was Him defining the meaning, not me, for my own protection. It seems like everytime I decide to "step out" and try and do something, He stops me. Oh, the blessed grace barriers of the Lord. His desire of conforming me to His image is superior to mine of becoming a showman which is a slap in His face.
     He knew that my will was to truly be His Will, but that I had temporarily (and due to my lack on maturity) let my fleshly desires rule, but He overode them. Again, thank God for not giving me what I say I want, but for Him reading my heart and giving me that instead. And, I thank Him for showing me many years later that He had been faithful to me in answering that prayer, prayed so many years ago.
     It might be that He will use me to lay hands on the sick, to cast out demons, to operate through me and show His signs and wonders, as I believe He wants to show His power to the world in this way through His followers, but not if I will do it from my own pride and blaspheme His name. I would rather not do this, if that would be the case, but stay in oblivion and let Him change me and my motives. Afterall, it's His glory and not our own, that we want, isn't it? So, let us go willingly into His Fire of Grace, for that is what it really is, and be burned to a crisp if necessary, to let His light so shine in and through us, to the praise of HIS GLORY !