His Purposes

     Do ever wonder what God wants out of you? I do. As He says in His Word, "write in on a tablet; make it plain," in which He was talking about a vision someone had. I wish He would do that for me.
     Many years ago, the thought came to me through Christian T.V., that we had a destiny; a specific pre-ordained purpose in the heart of God, that we were supposed to determine. Well, it was then I set out to do that, and life hasn't been the same since. I searched many roads in attempting to find out what my destiny was.
     As far out as it sounds, I thought I was to become a pastor-and I was a married woman with children at home, who were floundering because of the struggles both my husband and I were dealing with internally, the pitiful condition of farming at the time, and just general dysfunction and the pain that results from all of that.
     As I look back, I wonder if I was just wanting to run away, and would try and justify it by saying I was fulfilling my God-given destiny in doing so. The only suitable  place (in my mind) to prepare for becoming a pastor, denied my request because I was a married woman who would have to leave home. I have taken this as a "grace barrier" God put in my path to stop me from doing something, which wasn't His will.
     Then I came across the book, "The Search for Significance" which piqued my interest, thinking reading it could help me "determine my destiny." Well, it helped me alright, but not in the way I thought it would. In it the author, Robert McGee, showed how we have false beliefs, and because of them, we launch out on a search for significance, but when we begin to replace those beliefs with the truth of how God sees us, (we are perfectly loved, accepted and forgiven) we begin to know we are significant, and the search stops. Then, we can rest in that, and be content.
     I went through the workbook and answered each question completely and with the degree of honesty I could see about myself at the time. I read the words about how God sees me, but I don't think I really received them fully, at that time. Even though I mentally ascended to these truths, there was something in me that still desired to be significant. I wanted to fulfill God's purpose for me, and I wanted to leave my mark on the world somehow.
     Today, I am beginning to see that His purposes through me, many times seem insignificant to me and the world, but in His eyes they are major. Showing His love and acceptance in even small ways release His Spirit's flow to bring healing and restoration and hope in another person, and I believe, draws them to Himself in unseen ways. It is so significant eternally and in view of the company of Heaven, but is not discerned many times with the human eye. Eventually, the result of "letting His Spirit be released through us" does manifest, but only  with  spiritual vision.
     He has a destiny which was totally completed on the cross, but which is yet to be played out fully in this physical world, but will be for sure.  And it is this destiny that we "get" to be a part of that is significant. How this plays out in our lives happens in so many individual ways.
      It's only when we accept the truths of how God sees us, that we can truly let go of wanting to be somebody, and receive His destiny as ours, and that becomes good enough. And not only good enough, but it becomes the only thing that will truly satisfy us, because we know it satisfies Him.  Let HIS Kingdom come, let HIS will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven-Amen.