The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth, so help me, God

     Have you ever been in a situation where you were trapped (had no control) and it was blocking you from doing what you felt was God's will? It is a horrible place to be, full of sadness and despair. It's that you would fill God's desire, but the decisions of someone else is preventing you from doing that. To make matters worse, in the past, the person who has the control, was once in unity with you. Then you wonder if God holds you accountable or not, and feelings of anger (at who, you don't know) are experienced.
     Today I told God that "it wasn't fair," for me to want to do His will, and someone is getting in the way of me doing that. It was with tears that I said this. I didn't want to blame God, but deep inside I guess I have been, and when I finally let these feelings come to the surface, a dam broke in me.
     Now, maybe I will see more clearly what is truly going on, either in me, the other person ,the situation, and/or in what God is trying to show me through it all. There is something about being completely honest, with one's own buried feelings, (right or wrong) that brings other things to light also; that more understanding will come.
     One thing for sure, is that a person always feels better when they get out their true feelings. Have you ever noticed that? Repressed feelings kill. They are buried in one's soul, and are rehearsed over and over, and we don't even realize that's happening. We keep them hidden sometimes even from ourselves, and in this dark place they always bring destruction to us, and to our relationships.
     Slowly, God has been changing me so that I will be able to share my feelings with another, without attacking them personally, mainly just for the purpose of offering myself to them  in truth, and to clear the air which hangs heavy, if we harbor these thoughts and feelings underground.
     I  believe God wants the same from us. David, in the Psalms, speaks plainly to God, with everything he thinks and feels. He praises Him unashamedly, and He shares his feelings and thoughts about his enemies and the often bleak situations he finds himself in, whether self-induced or innocently. He calls for vengeance from God on his enemies; an attitude I feel is not of God, but David is feeling that way, and so he says it freely to God.
     "I desire truth in the inward parts", God says. ( Psalm 56:1) Again, He points out the fact that Nathaniel has no guile in him whenever he spoke out freely and honestly. (John 1:47) To feel or think one way, and to present it another way either to others or to God is being hypocritical. Learning to not try and hide my true feelings and thoughts to God first, is a step in not doing that with people. That is where I'm at; that is where He's got me. He is intent on cleaning the inside of the cup, and He will do it.