Where Do I Go From Here?

     I don't know how my life is going to look from now on. I guess I'll find out. Why do I say that? If you read yesterday's post, I tell about a new truth that God dropped in my spirit, and it's going to change the texture of my life in every way.
     He showed me that I had been trying to follow His will to obey the "law of Love" which includes all the directives written on our hearts concerning how to treat others. What's wrong with that, you might say? Isn't that what obedience is all about? Well, yes, and well no. Because I had become so distraught over the years in this desire, God showed me that I was attempting to love as He loves in my own strength what can only be accomplished by the power of the Spirit. In seeing that, it lifted a tremendous burden off of me. And, now I am wondering, "where do I go from here?"
     It is part of understanding more clearly the truth of "nevertheless, not I, but Christ that lives in me." I am seeing that it is only His Love in me, that I am to yield to, and then the "righteous requirements of the law will be fully met through me." (Rom. 8:6) Wow-and I sincerely thought that He expected me to do it. I've always said that I knew it was by His power only, but I guess at some level I was not willing to let go of control. 
     Just as certain as failing was in trying to obey the law in the Old Covenant, so is it certain that we will fail in our own flesh to live up to the New Covenant law of Love. And, I believe that if we don't let God work in us, we will never get to this point of either realization or of yielding to Him inside ourselves, so that He can flow through us to others. (Explained more on previous post.)
     Yes, as we die to self, through many, many years of anguish, pain and hardship in many ways, He begins to rise in us, and then Him, not us, will fulfill His will through us. It is afterall, Christ in us, being "released" in us, as we become One, who does it.
     So, with so many years of trying to do it, and not even realizing that, and thinking it was my job to do it, I will now be devoid of those "assignments." I will not try harder, nor will I feel guilty when I fail, for "it is Christ who works in me both to will and to do of His Good pleasure." In other words, He will complete His will to walk in Love through me because it is His love. Amen.
    I've found, since the discovery, that I have been able to see Him more clearly, or even at all. Before, when I was on the job, I only saw my faults and grieved over them, if only internally. I carried that around with me, not even realizing it. Now, all of that doesn't matter. I can't gaze on my "sin" any longer. Doing that hasn't helped any, it's only caused me to get in the way of seeing Him in the beauty of His holiness. (I have so desired this for years.)
     I have once again answered my own question, by talking it out here. I was wondering what my life will look like from now on.  It will look like me being free to gaze on Him, and not on myself. By Him bringing me that awareness about myself (that I was trying in my own strength to Love as He loves) and that I couldn't and shouldn't even continue to try, but I am to yield to His Love in me, greatly aids me in "considering myself dead." I've always wanted to die in that sense, but I also couldn't kill myself either. He had to do it.
     I am expecting the content of my posts to change also. When He changes someone on the inside, it is permanent and affects all parts of their being and life.  And, of course, I expect all of my relationships to improve, because my past "self-focus" has been greatly diminished.
     Death is a good thing, by golly, that Christ and His Life might arise in us!!!

 

Another regular "Joe" singing one of my favorite songs, which I now, by experience understand more fully today.