Intimacy=Into Me See

     Yesterday, I made a confession to the Lord about some disappointments in my life which I've carried for a long time. They are things I didn't want to admit in an attempt to hide them from myself, even though they were "in there." It felt right and good to just say them, to get them out, and to put them before the Lord. I told Him I couldn't do anything about them; that I didn't know how. In this way, I was declaring defeat in my ability to make things better. We reach the end of ourselves in many different ways.
     In the past, I had been careful to confess to Him the things in me which were "sin" but one of my weaknesses has been to cover up my wants from Him. Because I had thought they were selfish, I just denied I had them. That didn't make them go away, though. In fact, they festered and added up, until I finally couldn't contain them anymore. I needed to get them out, and just say them, and I did. Sometimes, I deny things are there (in me) if I don't think they should be. I know, it sounds crazy, but I didn't know anything else to do with them, until yesterday.
     I am seeing that anything that remains "in the dark" is not good. To admit or confess brings them out into the light-His light, which cleanses and purifies. I found myself, not only confessing that I had "wants," but that I didn't admit them to the Lord, and tried to hide them. When I finally did, something good happened, and that He was pleased. I don't know what He will do about them, but I know that I can't.
     I think the next step will be to tell Him what my wants are. Laying ourselves before Him, the good, the bad and the ugly is a good thing and paves the way for Him to do the marvelous work that He does in us, as He makes good soil in our hearts.