He is Shaking All that Can Be Shaken

     This past year my husband and I experienced "being ripped apart on the inside,"  because  a ministry we had been involved in, and gave money through, for about 18 years, was shaken. This shaking was due to radical and sudden changes that divided many people, and was in response to allegations among people we had come to love and trust. As a result, we experienced a lot of emotional hurt, and also doubt entered in, and our trust was violated. We had wanted to believe everyone, but with contradictory responses, everywhere we turned, that became impossible. The result was that, to this day, we do not know who is, and who is not telling us the truth. The email below was written to pastors we were supporting, and who we had come to know personally when we visited India 3 times. It is in response to repeated emails from them, wondering why we no longer give to them. I believe that it is from the heart of God to them. Changes in life like this are hard, but as is expressed in the email, God is doing something in and through all of them:

Dear Pastors in India-

Because of the changes in the ministry, and the doubt that was put on us with relationships there, we don't know who to trust now. For the innocent, this is very grievous. It is obvious a few people, perhaps many, have been deceiving us, and so we don't want to give money, if we don't know who is real and who is not. I truly hate that this has happened; that we can't know the truth, but I have to accept that it has happened. It could be the devil lying about people, because of jealousies or hatred, or it could be God exposing those who were truly being deceptive, but we cannot function in that atmosphere with any degree of certainty that our monies, and really ourselves, are not being used, in all purity and honesty. I feel guilty at times, knowing the needs, but God is assuring me that He is well able to take care of His own in ways outside of us and our supply. I believe He is also trying to show people things within themselves that need to be changed, as He did in me.

 I loved India and it's people blindly, in almost a delusional way, and was prey to be "taken advantage of" because of this. So, I had my part too. I didn't want to look at some questionable things that we saw there, which was probably the Spirit of God trying to show me. I didn't want to give up India, so I ignored possibly the voice of God. Now, He has sharpened my eyes, as the delusion has been removed, and I am better equipped to let His voice lead, guide and protect me, as is His will.

So, that is the bottom line, as I know it from God's heart to mine, concerning why we have not continued giving. We now are opened to other places besides India to give, and even to needs we may see anywhere, as He quickens us to give. Instead of giving regularly (month by month) we give as the Spirit urges us. The other way started to seem like a "religious act" and became a ritual of sorts, which blocked out the voice of His Spirit.

He knows your needs, dear ones, and what is true for me is true for you. As we seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, all these things (your daily needs) will be added unto you. You are in our hearts, and we will pray for your needs, as you trust Him to meet them.