Great and Unsearchable Things

Things the Lord gives me, and then I write them.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Giving Up Control

     Have you ever had a decision that needed to be made, but any way you would go with it,  seemed not to be the one you needed to make? I have been in this situation for weeks now, with seemingly no resolve. It's been said that when you make a decision, letting the Lord lead you, that you will have peace. Well, peace is definately alluding me. What is the problem?
     It occured to me yesterday that the problem could possibly be, and probably is, that it was not my decision to make, but my husbands. Even though he has opened up the decision to share with me, as it is a decision about something both of us have been involved in and have invested our hearts and souls in, it is too difficult for me to even be a part of. Is God telling me to submit unto him completely, and let him make it on his own, and to abide in whatever he decides, letting his headship fully reign in this case? Does it sometimes happen that the wife can't cope with the emotional weight of making certain decisions, and that is one reason why God has named man as "head"?
     If God is saying this to me, and I believe He is, then before I talk to my husband about this, I need to be sure that I will not argue, complain, or try to change his mind, when he does decide. Does God give husbands special wisdom that he doesn't give wives so that they can more easily make decisons which have emotional implications attached to them?
     The bottom line is whether or not I can trust God if I release control to my husband. When I am not trying to influence my husband, maybe that is when he can truly hear from God, and respond to Him, as God would have him respond. Hmmmm........a thought.
     Giving up control in general is hard, especially when there is a fear attached to it. I fear that if I do give it up, then somehow my significance will diminish, or I will be  pushed aside, or that I will be taken advantage of. But, in this situation, it seems, I have come to the end of my abilities to make this decision, and I am ready to hand it off, and I know the one God wants me to hand it to is my husband. 
     So, in that sense, one could say that "the die has been cast." It's God's will, and so I will follow it, as He is my ultimate Head. I will need His help to give up control though. I'll need help to trust Him, and to trust that what my husband decides is from Him. I will need help to have the courage to tell my husband.  I will need His help to remain humble as I give this to him, and I will need His help to honor my husband's decison whatever that might be, even if I vehmently oppose it. Oh God, help me.


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