The Pit of Despair

     I am planning to be depressed. It's better than it sneaking up on me. At least I'll have some sense of control.
     I think I'll get back in bed with my second cup of coffee. Then I'll go over all the things that I am wondering about that I don't understand right now about my life, myself and what God is doing or saying to me, and the direction He is leading me in, if any. You see, that's the problem. I don't know if He is as active in my life as I have thought He was. What if I am just imagining it so as to feel important or to make my life more exciting? I think from these questions and thoughts you can see why I might feel depressed.
     Then there is the problem of me. Who is even bothered by these kinds of things, or ponders them? From the outside looking in, I would determine that I am unstable. At least I am right now, but that can change without my involvement. That is what I call the rescuing nature of God in me. But, am I making that up? You see, I must show up for this planned depression session, so that I can seek God and let Him show or tell me a few things.
     Well, gotta go. My soul is at a crossroads. I need to hear God so He can show me which path to take, because staying in this place just won't do.