Undone

     One thing about jumping off a cliff is that there really is no going back. You've already committed; the die has been cast when your body left solid footing. You have chosen to put yourself into what seems is a precarious position. I say, "what seems" because it would be in the natural. I means, sometimes parachutes don't open. It could happen.
     But when this jumping off place is one in the realm of the spirit, choosing to put yourself in what could feel like harm's way, and the parachute is Christ, and you are His, we can be assured of Him opening up and securing us completely, without fail. Even if we faint on the way down, or we have heart palpitations, or even become mentally or emotionally ravaged, He will catch us. If the jump causes us to be unduly shaken, He will restore of repair us. No scenario imagined will permanently harm us. He is our Keeper.
     Last night I experienced a challenge to my mental and emotionally self, as fearful thoughts flooded my mind. They were thoughts that made me want to turn back (whoops, can't do that. I'm mid air) or tempted me to block out the whole experience altogether. The truths that I have been presented with were challenging the core of my being, and the very truths themselves will do that. My desire for quick resolve in all things coupled with my desire to be free of any confusion created this showdown. I resisted the urge to "make a decision one way or the other" and decided instead to look to the Parachute in which I trust, putting the confusion in His Hand and Heart of Love for me.
     Well, this morning I woke up, and found myself in "bewildered rest." ( I didn't know that could be a reality, but I didn't know about alot of things I am learning as I fall down the mountainside.) I am still bewildered at the startling and challenging truths that have been presented to me ,but resting in Him, as He demonstrated His power to override the strong feelings which wanted to dominate me last night.  And being bewildered is not an uncomfortable state to be in. It's kind of dreamy really, but I don't plan on staying here long, as the point is to "awaken" to believing truth, and then trust God.
     So, I continue to let go and fall in a more peaceful state now. I believe He was the one who led me to the cliff, and He was the One who encouraged me to jump, and He was the One who gave me the courage. I was the one who had to make the decision. What I did not know was how "undone" I would be as I fell, but I did and still do know who would break my fall. And so  I said, "Yes, Lord," I will. His Will be Done in me.