What Do You Want, My Child?

     I'm thinking about prayer this morning, and how our praying evolves  over time. I know mine has. Since most of my prayer is private, I've noticed that I've quit the finely tuned ones. Even though I do like words and it is hard not to use the ones I know, even with God, the way I pray has changed. I pray "as I go" in the thoughts of my heart, knowing that He knows what I am saying or asking Him for, and trusting Him with that. Sometimes I just think of a person, and what they are going through, and don't even pray per say, but just sort of lift them up to Him and release them to His care so He can work in the situation with what He knows needs to happen. When I don't know what to pray, it is just "your will be done, Lord."
     I use to think that if I got on my knees or closed my eyes (the tighter the better) or pleaded harder and longer that God would answer my prayers even quicker or better or something? What was I thinking?  That I could "do something" so He would "do something"? Or was I thinking that He would think better of me if I did those things? We hopefully grow as we go.
     The Word does give us a glimpse on the subject. It says if we pray according to His will then our prayers will be answered. It's as we know more and more of what His will is, that we can pray that way. Then there's "we have not because we ask not." I probably fit into that category many times, as I am so afraid I will "ask amiss" or "according to my lusts." I"ve always interpreted that as asking for what I want, but maybe that's not it. Maybe it is alright to ask for what you want, if it is not for self-indulgent reasons. For God to do anything for me personally, just because I want something is hard for me. Then throw in the statement that God knows what we need before we ask Him. So does that mean we don't ask, knowing He knows, or is it just saying that He knows to assure us when we can't verbalize it?
     I have something currently that I asked Him for, not to test Him, but to step out in faith and trust Him for, and if I have asked wrongly, to trust Him in that, too. I am trusting Him to extend His grace to me in this case. I need Him to do something for me that only He can do, and I asked Him to do it. I guess I am feeling that I need to know that He loves me so much that He will. The truth that Him being my Shepherd, and His promise that I will not be in want is what I am basing my prayer on, and of course His love for me.
     I think He is teaching me that I can ask Him anything. I believe He is encouraging me to not be afraid in doing so. Talking to our Father can be a very intimate thing, especially when we are asking Him for a personal favor. We draw close, He receives our request with an open heart, and we humbly speak what is on our heart to Him. In doing so, our relationship is strengthened and trust is developed further. The trust part is that we begin to realize that no matter if we aren't asking according His will, and we are asking in igorance, that He doesn't feel differently towards us. In fact, I am thinking that He is glad we trusted Him enough to feel comfortable to ask.
     Hmmmm..........A relationship with Him of being totally free to express ourselves, without fear of rejection or abandonment or judgement. Now, that is true love. "To boldly approach the throne of Grace"-that's what I'm talkin' about. He's showing me His love.