Something Strange is Happening to Me

 

 

     God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. I think that is saying that we are "neat" people. Have you ever gotten a glimpse of how God has crafted you? Have you looked objectively at the "you" God has fashioned? Probably not, because when we look at ourselves, many times it is not with amazement, but with criticism. Have  you ever thought that to criticize ourselves is the same as telling God that we don't like what He made?
     Last night the above song came to my mind. The reason it did was because I am experiencing what Johnny Rivers is singing about. "Something strange is happening to me;something more than my two eyes can see"-that line in particular is currently true in my life. I am changing, and I know it and I feel it, and frankly, it feels strange and slightly uncomfortable.  The fact that I know it is from God and it is good ultimately undergirds these feelings though.
     There I was rocking along in my mundane, and I must say discouraged mode, seeming to not be going anywhere, and BAM, God snuck up on me and offered me an opportunity to grow exponetially in Him. Needless to say, I was ready to receive His offer, although I proceed with cautious excitement!!! That feeling of excitement is new for me in light of the fact that the situation I am entering is so full of unknowns, and in the past, I think my mindset would have been mostly fear, not excitement. So, that in itself shows some degree of work He's done in me already. But, really, I think the unknown parts are the very things that He will use to grow me, by me choosing to trust that He has set this up, and that He will guide and keep me through it. Some even might call it an adventurous challenge.
     I tell myself that if I can go to India 3 times, than I can do this. The difference, though, is that I go to India for other people, and this offer God has extended is just for me. That is the uncomfortable part. Is it because I feel unworthy to receive? If so, maybe the purpose in this is to learn and accept the value that He sees in me, and to believe and receive that as a given fact. I know He's been moving me towards believing that He does indeed love and accept me, and perhaps this offer of a one week mentorship, free of charge, is the setting in which He will help me be assured of that once and for all?
     Oh, back to the point of the first paragraph. When I was thinking of this song, and how it describes some of my feelings I'm having presently, I thought, "how old was I when I listened to that album over and over and over, soaking in the words of many of the songs?" I must have been about 16 years old then. At first I was tempted to criticize myself, thinking "who at that age, where one usually thinks of more surface things, listens to songs that sing about seeking truth?" It must have been God that interrupted my negative thoughts, and said, "you do, Patti. I made you a deep thinker, and a seeker of truth early on. You went a different path than most, and here you are today still seeking Me deeper and deeper. I love that about you. I chose that about you. You are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made."
     It seems He is changing my perception about myself, and I know that it is a direct result of Him giving me the ability to open up to His love for me. His love on the inside of us changes everything, as we allow it to permeate our beings. I see that river in the city of God flowing, with the trees planted on either side. Those trees are us, His children, and that River is His love and acceptance of us that brings us healing. Then in turn, we can release that River to others and bring them healing. Enjoy a song about this River. I love this song!!!!!:)