To Be or Not To Be-That is the Question.

Below is an insightful article that expresses pretty much of what I wanted to say. I would only add that one of the strongest hindrances in learning to accept and be ourselves is when we have self-protected in our lives because we felt threatened in our upbringing. If we learned to "say what was expected for us to say" and it wasn't from our true self, then it is difficult when we become adults, to learn who we are and be o.k. with that, even when the threat is removed. We have to take baby steps of courage to dare to say what we think and feel, once we know. The safety net, however, is that God accepts us and does not condemn who we are, even if people still do. We can count on and depend on that, and so it makes it easier to take courage as we present our self to the world. It is so freeing though, (as the article states) when we do.

quote by LanThi ; article by Dr. Irene (February 2, 2000)

“To thine own self be true…..” Most of us are familiar with the above quote taking from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, but how many of us know this verse:  “And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou can not then be false to any man.”  Unless we can be true to ourselves first, we cannot be true to others. To thine own self be true…..how profound.  How many of us have a hard time being true to ourselves?  Those of us that gave our life to another at the cost of loosing who we are in the process will have a hard time being true to ourselves.  Allowing someone else to define who we are, we lose our ability to discover and grow inwardly.  We no longer are able to discern a truth from a lie.  For many of us, we have accepted lies for so long, that finding out what is true takes time. Having done this very thing, I know how difficult the journey to self-discovery can be. Truth….truth is a word that brings out such negative reactions to many of us. You see truth is really an action word.  You cannot accept truth without change. Accepting truth about ourselves is difficult, especially to those of us who have been abused.  But truth does set one free if we will allow it to; it is a crucial part of healing.  It gives us the freedom to be who we are.  We are able to come to terms with our weakness (without condemnation) and appreciate our strength.  Truth gives strength; it naturally builds healthy boundaries.  Truth is open; it is honest even at the risk of being vulnerable again.  Truth is light and brings forth life.  When we walk in truth, we walk in light and when we walk in light we live a healthy life. Truth is also love.  The greatest act of love towards another is living a life that is truthful.  For those of us who find it difficult to love ourselves, we will find it will come more easily when we walk in truth about who we are.  If we walk in truth, we walk in perfect love, and if we walk in perfect love, then we do not walk in fear because perfect love cast out fear.  Because we have been honest with ourselves, we are able to love ourselves with all of our imperfections, knowing that we are in “process” and therefore need not have others approval.  This is freedom indeed. The second part of this verse is a natural occurrence if we hold true to the first part of the verse.  So, when in doubt as to our motives of not being truthful with someone….look inside, are we being less than truthful to ourselves? ”This above all: to thine ownself be true,  And it must follow, as the night the day,  Thou canst not then be false to any man.”                          -Shakespeare-Hamlet