Unforgiveness equals justified sin and deception

Going through a period of understanding unforgiveness and it's "power." It's based on the Scripture that says," if you retain someone's sins, they are retained." So, if we hold someone "captive" by not forgiving them, then we are keeping them captive to continuing in sin, whether it be that sin or others. They are bound in many areas from "walking in newness of life." As we mete their sin with our punishments, we are declaring that they are condemned, and then they will continue to walk as if they were, being held there until you let them out of prison. You may say, "but if God has forgiven them, then they are free." And to that I say, "I hear you, but He put that other truth in there for us to be involved with that somehow."
Sitting down with them exposing how they offend you to try and "help them see" their sin is not going to work. The only thing that does is bring condemnation, which is the fuel used to continue in the sin, not keep them from it.
The work of forgiveness must be done between us and the Lord, and then our hearts are cleansed from it's wrongly- used vengeance, and we begin to see the other person in a different light, freeing them from our accusations and the resulting bondage. Once they are free from our prison, God is then free to "speak to them," and then they can either confess and have Him cleanse them or go their own way. If it's someone in close proximity to us, it may mean us continuing to forgive to make the path clear for God to speak. If we put them in prison by unforgiveness, God chooses to let this lie until the time we release them. The result in us will be a hardened heart full of vengeful hate; a sin brought before God which He says he holds us to unless we forgive.
So, if we've been desiring for someone to change and "do right by us," and they aren't doing it and may even be increasing in their same offensive ways, it may be because we haven't released them to God's dealings by our unforgiveness.
Search me, O God, and know me and see if there be any unclean way in me, and lead me to the path of righteousness for your name's sake. Amen.