Great and Unsearchable Things

Things the Lord gives me, and then I write them.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Flow, River Flow

    I just realized that I am very uncomfortable belonging to a group. This is interesting to me, because I have found myself thinking I have wanted to be a part of one. I can "do a group" from a distance though, such as one over the internet, or even one where we gather physically, but with my walls intact so as not to get too close. Is it that I am not wanting people to know me, or not wanting to know people? Am I afraid of being controlled, or that I might not live up to the real or perceived expectations of the group, and do I still have insecurities thinking I will be rejected, so I keep my distance to protect myself from this happening?
     God warned me not too long ago, that there would be things upcoming that I would be stunned by, and this is one of them. I am stunned to discover this reality about myself, and to tell the truth, I  am not really wanting to go there. I don't want to examine the walls I still have in me, but to ignore the reality that God has brought to light, is to say "no" to more work He wants to do in me. And so, I say, "Show me, O God, my walls that obstruct embracing the fellowship You desire us to have in Your family."
     Recently, I've been a part of a  small group of believers who have agreed  to pray every Friday night with me and my husband. This group lives in many different states in America. The "call to prayer" was extended through 51 email contacts, and 9 responded. Our focus is to seek God on what His vision for His Body is in this time. This week is the second Friday we have prayed, and He is revealing so much to me.
     The walls in me are a small part of Him answering that prayer. He is showing me, and others that our hindrances, strongholds, blockages, bondages, aka "walls" are things on the inside of us which prevent His unity, love, and fellowship from happening as He desires. Christ's love and truth in us wants to flow freely without impediment.
     Thank you, God for revealing this to me. Please show me my walls, so that I can offer them to You, and You can have Your Heart's Desire fulfilled.


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