He Knows What We Need
As I listened to someone tell about their experiences in the Lord, I found myself thinking that I hadn't experienced such things, and then wondered "why not?" This has happened before to me. It feels like I am a "second class" Christian, more specifically someone God has denied and left out.
And so I told God that, as I sat in the car riding home. I told Him I felt left out and asked Him why I didn't get to experience these grand things the other person was talking about; a "love bomb" he called it. He described this as just suddenly feeling, in a strong way, the supernatural presence of God. I said to Him, "If this is from you God, why don't you do this for me? What have I done wrong?"
I was seeking His answer as I continued riding down the highway. Suddenly He directed my eye to the speed limit sign-55 mph. I knew immediately what He was trying to show me. The number 5 is the number of Grace, so He was saying something about His grace to me. So, I asked Him"What does Grace have to do with what I am asking you about? What are you saying to me?" I rode a few more miles, and there it was again. I wasn't looking for the sign, but it was as if He was causing my eye to look at it. 55 again! "O.K. Lord, you are saying your grace to me is in all of this- in what ways?" I inquired. "You haven't given me this strong feeling of your presence in my walk with you ever! Why am I being left out?" I asked further.
And He said, "Very few people have the kind of close and intimate relationship you have with Me; this is my grace to you. We converse every day, and every moment. I speak to you in unusual ways; in ways only you would understand. As to whether or not this 'love bomb' is from me or not, is not for you to know. You follow me in the way I am leading you. Do you trust me to lead you, as you are with me knowing you fully, in the way you need to go? I am giving you what you need, am I not? Wasn't your prayer "to know Me, and the fellowship of my sufferings?" Why do you seek what you think I am giving others? Why do you think I am denying you? You are to have an unseen and unique walk with me. I have told you that for many years now. I long for you to embrace and cherish that walk with Me, and not look around thinking I am denying you. If only others knew what you have with Me, they would want it. But your quiet walk with Me is what I want for you. Did not you ask for My Will in your life for all things? Haven't you chosen for me to allow you suffering if that is what it takes to conform you to my image?" He said.
This response by God was so rich, deep and humbling that I couldn't even contain and absorb it all. I confessed my sorrow in feeling that He had denied me. In fact, I knew it was wrong to covet what was not mine, but still I found myself doing it. Of course, I knew God forgave me. At the same time, I could now see I had to first be honest with Him about my feelings, (right or wrong) for Him to show me more about His 55's (Graces) to me concerning this.
Now I can see better, and believe that God relates to us all in so many different ways, and we must be careful when we relay to others what God has done in our lives and is doing, for it not to sound like if someone else is not experiencing Him in this way, then they are deficient or lacking somehow, or even not loved as much by Him, as that is not true. Satan would have us think that though, as he did with me.
He has grace for all of His children, but He expresses it in customized ways that fill each one of our deepest needs, and works in us what only He knows about. We don't even know what we need like He does, so who are we to question Him? I am learning that lesson more and more and am beginning to appreciate what I do have with Him in my own unique self, and to trust that His decisions concerning my walk with Him are fair and just and true and right, as He is.
And so I told God that, as I sat in the car riding home. I told Him I felt left out and asked Him why I didn't get to experience these grand things the other person was talking about; a "love bomb" he called it. He described this as just suddenly feeling, in a strong way, the supernatural presence of God. I said to Him, "If this is from you God, why don't you do this for me? What have I done wrong?"
I was seeking His answer as I continued riding down the highway. Suddenly He directed my eye to the speed limit sign-55 mph. I knew immediately what He was trying to show me. The number 5 is the number of Grace, so He was saying something about His grace to me. So, I asked Him"What does Grace have to do with what I am asking you about? What are you saying to me?" I rode a few more miles, and there it was again. I wasn't looking for the sign, but it was as if He was causing my eye to look at it. 55 again! "O.K. Lord, you are saying your grace to me is in all of this- in what ways?" I inquired. "You haven't given me this strong feeling of your presence in my walk with you ever! Why am I being left out?" I asked further.
And He said, "Very few people have the kind of close and intimate relationship you have with Me; this is my grace to you. We converse every day, and every moment. I speak to you in unusual ways; in ways only you would understand. As to whether or not this 'love bomb' is from me or not, is not for you to know. You follow me in the way I am leading you. Do you trust me to lead you, as you are with me knowing you fully, in the way you need to go? I am giving you what you need, am I not? Wasn't your prayer "to know Me, and the fellowship of my sufferings?" Why do you seek what you think I am giving others? Why do you think I am denying you? You are to have an unseen and unique walk with me. I have told you that for many years now. I long for you to embrace and cherish that walk with Me, and not look around thinking I am denying you. If only others knew what you have with Me, they would want it. But your quiet walk with Me is what I want for you. Did not you ask for My Will in your life for all things? Haven't you chosen for me to allow you suffering if that is what it takes to conform you to my image?" He said.
This response by God was so rich, deep and humbling that I couldn't even contain and absorb it all. I confessed my sorrow in feeling that He had denied me. In fact, I knew it was wrong to covet what was not mine, but still I found myself doing it. Of course, I knew God forgave me. At the same time, I could now see I had to first be honest with Him about my feelings, (right or wrong) for Him to show me more about His 55's (Graces) to me concerning this.
Now I can see better, and believe that God relates to us all in so many different ways, and we must be careful when we relay to others what God has done in our lives and is doing, for it not to sound like if someone else is not experiencing Him in this way, then they are deficient or lacking somehow, or even not loved as much by Him, as that is not true. Satan would have us think that though, as he did with me.
He has grace for all of His children, but He expresses it in customized ways that fill each one of our deepest needs, and works in us what only He knows about. We don't even know what we need like He does, so who are we to question Him? I am learning that lesson more and more and am beginning to appreciate what I do have with Him in my own unique self, and to trust that His decisions concerning my walk with Him are fair and just and true and right, as He is.
posted by Patti Blount @ 9:41 AM
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