Would you forgive me because I am "the thinker"? In fact, can you believe, that when I was awake at 4:30 am this morning (although I stayed in bed) I thought of this post. My mind automatically goes there. Sometimes I wonder seriously if I need to get on that ADD medicine to help my brain focus, or something to help me not think so much. Did God make me this way, or is it a malfunction, I wonder? I have become aware that I am a deep thinker, and that in being that way I have possibly alienated others who are not. It seems like either I am threatening to them because they don't know what I am talking about, or that they would rather just stay on the surface in life and "not go there." It's really hard to tell. God only knows, I suppose.
     I have adapted, though, to this revelation of my being different in this way, by not sharing most of what I am thinking so as not to startle or interfere with my interpersonal relationships (Although, I will share if I sense that the other person will  understand and appreciate my thoughts) Rightly so, as I know people aren't hungry for my thoughts, and want to get a word in edgewise. That's how relationships are: two-sided.
      Saying all of that, I have come to appreciate the light side of communications also, as they don't bring a strain but a release to the depth of thought I usually dwell in.I have even tried to be light-hearted like those other good souls who everyone likes, but to no avail. So being me and appreciating who God had made me,  and appreciating those who add another dimension to life has been tough for me. I have told myself about myself that I have swam in the deep and seen the sharks (and many times have gotten bit by them even) but I have also seen the treasures which lie there, and it's been worth it. Settling with the fact that God has made me this way, with possibly some things to share about the deep with others, has helped me NOT get on medicine or resort to total self-abasement. (Although I do struggle with that, which I believe is one of the lures of the sharks which swim around me at times) This is the preface to my post, which has nothing to do with it, except to share some thoughts about myself in relationship to it. I hope that you can "see" what I see, and marvel at the works of God as I look at this treasure of who He is.

Preceeding Submission

          How does God do His work in us when conforming us to His image? I know that theologians and others have attempted to answer that question, and now I will present my insights. First of all, we know the "clay/potter" parallel with us being the clay and God the potter. Yes, He pounds and remolds and shapes, and on and on it goes. This is a visual of what He does in the spiritual realm, of which we only can relate to many times if given object lessons to help us know or understand or see. 

     I will give you what I believe God has shown me of only a small part of His inner work, as it has related to me lately. And, I believe, He does the same in each one of us, who are called by His name. First of all, I believe that we have to want Him to change us into the likeness of Christ for Him to do it. I firmly believe that He does not force anyone to do anything against their will. If He did, He certainly would have forced Adam and Eve to "not pick the fruit" that He forbade. I realize that this could develop into a discussion about "free will" , but that is not the subject at hand. Secondly, I believe that we need to believe that He will do that work in us, and to wait in expectation for the work to appear, or be manifest, so to speak. This is one of the hardest places to be in, as after waiting so long with no obvious visible results, it  becomes a temptation to either "give up" and get disgusted with ourselves (forgetting that we are His work) or rethink the issue and come up with a different theology to pacify our emotions. (dangerous ground) We might think during this process of waiting that we really don't have to go to the cross to die to our flesh, or that it's just too hard to let Him have His way so we become targets for an easier doctrine out there. If we believe that these tribulations we must go through to enter the Kingdom of God are not of God , then we cast them off and walk falsely with our God. Is that walking with Him at all, or are we then alone, but think we are walking with Him?

     Thirdly, we must deny our own richness (sufficiency within ourselves) and become "poor" depending on Him. Understand that in each one of these stages, God has to do a tremendous work in us and is constantly working in a place in us we don't even know about all the while. We may feel the results of His work in terms of pain, restlessness, anxiety, or uncomfortableness but we don't really know the work itself, only that it is going on.

      For example, can you imagine Him working us from a place of self-sufficeincy to being totally dependent on Him? Before we knew Him, depending on ourselves or others (codependency) is all we had, even thinking that we were supposed to. (Pack your own chute, make your own way, pull yourselves up by the bootstraps, etc.) The world out there even exalted us for it, thinking if we are a self-made man/woman than we are to be applauded. So, He has a long way to take us from point A to point B, especially if we fight him for supremacy. (which our flesh gladly does, and even tries and justifies itself, along with the lies of the enemy) And this brings us to the point of this blog: The wonderful, tremendous, and mysterious work that God does on the inside of us to get us to gladly submit under His will.

     Recently, I have seen small evidence of the submission He has worked in me, and I marvel of all of what I would call "hard work" He had to do in that deep place in me (which, by the way, brought me much pain and suffering as I resisted that work unknowingly) before that tiny bit of wanting to submit that was actually "seen" by me on the outside. Truly, to God alone be the glory, as I know that I within myself, or that is, in  my flesh dwells no good thing. (I have known that in theory because His Word says that is true) but I am knowing that in reality more and more as He keeps showing me who He is, and then who I am by comparison. "Woe is me, a man undone."

     So, what is the point of all these deep thoughts? How will knowing about the work of God on the inside of me do any good, or help anything? Well, it helps me to have hope when I realize that I am God's work, and if I want Him to change me for His glory, than He will do it and is doing it. And, it helps me not give up whenever I don't see evidence of this for long periods of time, or when I am going through tremendous struggle to remember that is not only part of the process, but it is the process. Can we endure so great a salvation? Yes, we can if we will. In other words, if we will to have Him work His will into us. It is hard, it is the narrow way, but it is so worth it.