Death Producing Life

     All the pain we have suffered, whether self-induced or unjustly placed on us by others, is used, if we allow it, to shape us into His image. The other day I was suffering so much emotional pain on the inside; I thought I would bust. God spoke to me, by His Spirit, that I was where I was supposed to be. I told Him that I didn't believe Him. I said that this much pain couldn't be where He wanted me to be. But, as a loving, gracious Father, He just remained quiet and I believe, happy, that I was honest with Him about what I was feeling/ believing at that moment. But still His love and truth (that I was where He wanted me) overode my unbelief and resistance. Later, as I accepted this, He began to use that pain and break me inside. This breaking resulted in more of Him coming forth in me. I could see and feel Him through me. I had a new peace and humility I  hadn't had before. 

     Reminds me of lyrics to a song: "As you hold me to the fire, I will not remove your Hand." I was almost tempted beyond measure to run from the pain, and enact some fleshly solution that would have resulted in devastating effects. Lord, thank you for your mysterious keeping power.