Great and Unsearchable Things

Things the Lord gives me, and then I write them.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Place of "I Don't Get It"

As I am growing in the Lord, I am finding that He has taken me to a place called "I don't get it." What I thought I knew before, now seems like darkness to me. He is stripping me of my former understanding, which, of course was obviously in error. What I thought was light, was not. It feels like I am becoming blind, and in a way, I am. I am becoming blind to what was formerly light to me, or so I thought. Now, He's bringing me to true light, and it seems like darkness; maybe like when you pull off your sunglasses and the sun seems to actually hurt your eyes. It has that feel to it.
I remember one time that I was witnessing someone praying for someone else and she said, "God is going to cut your head off in the spirit." As I stood aside, I was thinking (praying) , "Oh God, do that to me." I knew I needed to get out of my own understanding and have it replaced with His. Could that possibly be what the renewing of the mind is all about?

I really don't know what's going on, but HE DOES!!! Isn't that the point? Surrendering our having to know or thinking we do, to releasing that to Him and then just be comforted by that. Sometimes He lets us "see", and I like it when He does. I'm thinking that I will grow into this "seeing" (things from His perspective) as I let go of my own.

I have a vision of me (and all of His) being like an etch-a-sketch with all this scribbling on it, and then God coming along and shaking it from side to side until there is a clear screen. And then He begins to turn the knobs ever so slowly, imprinting His own mind on us, making His perspective ours.

Get it? Neither do I. Maybe you're in that place with me, and it's a good place, because it's a God place. Maybe we don't have to see, because He is our vision. Maybe we are "dancing in the darkness" with the One who we can trust to lead the dance. Maybe one day we will see as He sees, and then we will be in union with Him!! (Sigh) I could have danced all night, and there will be a time when we will.
P.S.- I don't know a thing about the book or its contents, so there is not endorsement. I just used it as a picture.

2 Comments:

  • At 9/05/2007 10:17 AM , Blogger Nate said...

    Since you contacted me about the praying for God's wisdom thing. I thought that I would start to read some of your posts.

    You are in the Repentance phase. "WHAT?" you say. Well along with everything else, your CLB (church lsft behind) taught you a different definition of repentance than the one spoken about in the bible. Their's means to stop doing what you were doing and never do it again. The on in the bible means to "change your mind." Or, have a paradigm shift. It means that instead of seeing God and the scriptures throught the filter of the organized religion that you once had, you see it through God's eyes. Then you will be able to see what he wants you to see. He has replaced the old filter with a new one, and when you read the bible, it will mean something altogethr different than it did before.

     
  • At 9/23/2007 9:59 PM , Anonymous vetta said...

    thought I was the only one in the dark ... thanks for sharing! Your perseverance and faith encourage me. Looking forward to this new journey (the one using this blog)

     

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