How Do I Pray

The post below is in response to an invitation to participate in a Sychroblog, in which many blog of the same subject. The subject was, "How do you pray?" You can view the various blogs through lyn.lifeshapedfaith.com. She lists the people who participated and their take on the subject.
As silly as it sounds, I am praying now for God to help me link to your website so that this blog can go through. I don't know why I want this to happen so badly. Am I struggling outside of God's will on this, and is that why I am feeling so much tension. Is it God's will that I struggle to "press through" so that He can develop some inner strength in me? God knows what's going on here. I only know that it doesn't feel good. Well, this isn't really on the subject, but just the current condition of the one writing on the subject, which you didn't really ask for, did you?

I have been thinking about "how I pray" for several days now, and so I had to sort of start to notice. I really just talk to the Lord all day long, concerning any and all matters:decisions, help to cope, help to give me self-control so I don't blurt out what I am tempted to say, asking Him to rise up in me, for Him to increase and for me to decrease, etc. I am learning to talk to Him as I would anyone.

I have come from reading liturgical prayers, to spiritually sounding prayers, to not wanting to pray publically at all fearing that I would try to impress because I love words and I can construct them creatively, to now just being me in expressing anything I have to express to the Lord or when I need Him. I want to pray His will, and as I get to know Him better as He reveals Himself to me, I notice that I am doing that. These prayers are usually very contrary to my own will, but I know that His prayers for me are higher and better than my own, because He alone knows what I need. I understand now that His will for me and all His children is to conform them to the image of His Son, so to pray "make the crooked places straight in me, God," means that there are some very tough times ahead for me as He does that. He has to correct those false bents in me that have been ingrained for a long time. These are precarious prayers, but necessary ones because they are in line with His will. So, I guess I would say that I pray more courageously than I used to because they are prayers that involve the inner work of His Hand.

I also pray for my brothers and sisters in His Body. His Spirit "contacts" mine as He puts someone on my heart to intercede for. I don't look for people to pray for anymore, but I rest assured that He is able to contact me in beckoning me to lift them up to Him. It is a mystery really. It is amazing how He has been linking me to people lately through so many creative ways. He uses the way my mind works to do that.

I guess I could write down a sample prayer to demonstrate my "how" of praying:

Father-I am so nervous about linking to this website now. Calm me Lord. And I pray that I won't be too disappointed if this doesn't happen. Sometimes I fee so frustrated at things and for things that aren't really important. I am kind of embarrassed that I'm that way. I am embarrassed that I am writing this prayer for others to see, but it's as if I am compelled. I hope it's by your Spirit and not some form of OCD or anxiety disorder. Father, if it is heal me from this. Touch me Lord. It's only by your touch that things are truly healed. Now, Lord, I am going to try this, and I don't really know what I'm doing. If it's Your will that it happen, then it will. If not, then not. So be it. You are sovereign, and I know you can make it happen even if I don't know what I'm doing.