The Blessing of Failure

     Many years ago our family was in financial straits to the point of owing six digits to our lender for accrued farm debt. My husband had been taught falsely that his value was determined by how hard he worked, and so when we first began to get in debt, due to the farm crisis of the 80's, he knuckled down and tried to "work harder."
     The farm crisis actually served to camouflage his real motivation of working harder and that was to gain acceptance and approval from his Dad. Even with his hard work, though, his Dad would find something he did wrong or would even take credit for what he did right. It was a dangling carrot from a stick my husband ran after, never to catch.
    Finally after 15 years of working so hard, getting into more and more debt, and still bereft of his Dad's approval,  my husband gave up in desperation, and surrendered his life to the Lord. As he grew in Him, He found that his new Father unconditionally valued, loved and accepted him, and brought the gift of forgiveness to him for his past sins. And this, without earning it by hard work!!
     Looking back at this, I am amazed at how God used failure in our lives to bring new life to my husband. If he had succeeded in his efforts, and had pulled himself up out of debt, he probably would have concluded that he could rescue himself, and that he was a person of value because of it. He would have been deluded by this thinking, and may not have found God. After all, he would have gotten what he had wanted: to be accepted by his Dad, and would have believed he was now a person of value. With that, though, he would have been under a false belief system, which would have perpetuated his self-dependence and worship of his Dad's acceptance. Instead, he found the One who will never leave him or forsake him, and whose help he can rely on; the only One who is truly worthy of our worship. He was set free to be, and free to fail, too, without the fear of not being loved.