His Beauty for My Ashes

The following is an entry in my journal, where I express what God had shown me concerning something I was wanting to get resolved in my life. Although I don’t explain what that was, I am praying He speaks to those that read this:

“I wrestled with God, pressing Him to bring resolve to a cylical situation in my life, which had become unbearable. I desperately wanted to follow His Will, even if it was against my perceived conscience, so that unity would prevail between me and my husband. I kept saying to Him, ‘What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do?’, with fear and trembling, wondering if I was being disrespectful, because this was the first time that I had ever confronted Him like this. His response was that He brought me flowers!!!
How I had misjudged my Father, by using a gauge according to human standards; and yet, He showed me He operates so outside those parameters. It had to come to that, though. My strong will had allied with my conscience so tightly that it took decades of agony for me to lay down this juggernaut inside of me, so that I could see this one aspect of who He is.”
I stand in awe of Him!!!!!!!